Unwinnable Situation, part 1 of 2

Back on 5/8/19, I wrote about the on-going feud between Shane McMahon (son of the company CEO and Wanna-Be wrestler) and the Miz.

If he wants to continue his career in the WWE, the Miz must job for Shane, allowing the spoiled punk to lock him in these really sexy Triangle Head-Scissors every time they meet.

On last week’s episode of Smackdown, the humiliation of the Miz continued when Shane booked him to wrestle the muscular and hyper-masculine Elias in a Best of Three Falls match while he (Shane) watched from ringside, interfering whenever he wants.

We get the sense that the Miz would’ve easily beaten the less-experienced Elias if only Shane would stop getting involved.  But whenever Miz gained the advantage or attempted a pin, Shane would interfere, creating an unfair Two-Against-One scenario (which you may know by now is one of my favorite pro wrestling kinks.)  Why does Shane keep harming the Miz?  What went wrong between these two?

Seeing Shane pacing excitedly at ringside, we get the sense that he is horny for pro wrestling.  After decades of watching matches in frustrated arousal, Shane can barely control his urges to wrestle and dominate shirtless dudes.

Many pro wrestling lovers have probably fantasized about having access to (and control over) a whole stable full of submissive jobbers.  Shane is living the dream!

Thanks to Shane’s constant distractions, Elias is able to surprise the Miz with a Flying Knee to the chin, then twist Miz’s neck and Hook the Leg to win the First of Three Falls.

The nearly naked Miz appears vulnerable and out-matched against this brute in his tight jeans and hard-soled workboots — who is also getting plenty of help from the fully clothed cheater at ringside.

At this point, one of the announcers describes this unfair situation as follows:

“Shane McMahon helping Elias win the first fall. So Elias goes up One to Nothing.  Miz is at a distinct disadvantage right now. I would say it’s an unwinnable situation. There’s no way Miz is gonna recover to win two straight.”

Before the referee can ring the bell to start the second fall, Shane pounces on the defeated Miz and beats the hell out of him.  We get the sense that watching these two shirtless gladiators in a heated contest has aroused Shane and he can no longer stop himself from wanting to get involved.

Both Shane and Elias then stomp on the Miz, and neither one of these dirty cheaters are wearing regulation pro wrestling boots.  Why was Elias permitted to enter the ring in those treacherous workboots?  (Shane probably signed the waiver…)

Finally the ref gets Shane and his wild urges under control so we can begin the Second Fall.  Next, Elias inflicts a very sexy series of Headlocks on the Miz, blatantly presenting the suffering for Shane’s viewing pleasure.  We see Shane growing more and more aroused each time the Miz grunts or groans.

We are left to wonder why Shane has this boner for the Miz.  Shane could’ve chosen any of his daddy’s employees to serve as his play-toy, so why did he select Miz?


The timing of their break-up might explain Shane’s on-going lust to punish the Miz.  You see, Shane and Miz had once been Besties and Tag Team partners.

But at the Fastlane event on 3/10/19, Shane inexplicably attacked his own partner for no apparent reason and locked him in that trademark Headscissor.

What set Shane off in early March 2019?  Why did he dominate and emasculate the Miz in Cleveland, in front of his hometown crowd including his father?  This may not be the official family-friendly explanation for Shane’s Heel Turn, but from a queer perspective, I believe the story they’re telling us is that Shane feels jealous over the Miz’s unbreakable bond with his wife.

You see, just 2 weeks before Fastlane on 2/27/19, the USA Network had announced the continuation of the Miz’s reality show, Miz & Mrs.   This show focuses on the Miz’s happy marriage and domestic bliss.  It presents Miz as a dedicated Family Man, a goofy dad, and a confirmed hetero-sexual.

Having Shane attack the Miz just after this announcement is being presented as jealousy.  This decision by the Miz to focus on his wife and continue televising their family life apparently caused Shane — his abandoned male partner and potential homo-sexual love interest — to feel like the third wheel.  Perhaps Shane was hoping to strengthen their male-male bond, but instead, the Miz chose a traditional, hetero-normal married life.

From this perspective, it would seem that it’s actually Shane — not the Miz — who is in an “unwinnable situation” here.  When Shane realizes that the Miz has no interest in him beyond being co-workers, he does what many jilted lovers do: he punishes the former lover (whom he still has the hots for.)

The official explanation for Shane’s Heel Turn, which he presented days after Fastlane on the 3/12/19 episode of Smackdown, has to do with Shane’s frustration over so many wrestlers, including the Miz, trying to use him to better their careers and get ahead.

 But hidden within this speech are some verbal clues that reveal the queer underpinnings of Shane’s relationship with the Miz — the arousal Shane feels when he dominates and punishes the Miz.  For example:

  • @ 6:24:  “That’s why it felt SO GOOD on Sunday when again I was beating the Holy Hell out of the Miz…”
  • @ 6:53:  “Oh my God — it was liberating.  It felt SO GOOD!   And that set off a spark in me that is never, ever going to go away, so everybody get used to it.”
  • @ 7:20“I had such an amazing time BEATING YOUR ASS, that I’m going to continue that…  So Miz, get ready for another Best In The World beating — and it’s gonna feel, to me, AWWWWESOME!”

This language about feeling good and having an amazing time makes it sound like Shane gets off on beating the Miz’s ass.

So we can interpret Shane’s ongoing abuse of the Miz as the angry reactions of a jilted (but still horny) former lover.  After being rejected by the Miz, Shane keeps sending his minions (in this case, Elias) to beat up his former Bestie while he watches angrily, or puts his hands on the Miz every chance he gets.

This is like a bitchy school girl who incites her new boyfriend to go beat up her old boyfriend (while she wallops him with her purse.)


To Be Continued…

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