Excellent Execution

Maxwell Jacob Friedman (MJF) always portrays the swaggering, cocky Dickhead Heel.  His tagline when he is introduced to the audience is: “He’s better than you, and you know it!”  Yup, pretty much.

All of his arrogant antics makes us desire to see him taken down a peg, to get his just desserts.  Someone needs to wipe that sneer off his face, but he’s so damn built and so effective and powerful in the ring, he gets away with being a prick…

Until he met Teddy Hart from the famous and very talented Hart Dynasty in a video recently uploaded to YouTube.


Teddy Hart is the Fan Favorite in this Heel vs. Heel match.  The audience hates MJF so passionately or loves Teddy so dearly, that they continue to support Teddy even when he cheats (for example, enticing MJF into a pre-match Bro Hug only to sucker-kick him in the stomach.)

Hart proceeds to unleash an epic ass-kicking on poor MJF in his little green trunks.  Hart is so smooth, fast, and deadly in the ring, it’s intoxicating to watch him in action.  He embodies the “Excellence of Execution” that his uncle Brett was known for.

With cat-like speed and swan-like grace, Hart hoists those bulging green trunks up in his face, then cracks MJF down across his knees.  He delivers a dozen sweet moves like this:, as the commentators have fun tossing out exotic names for each maneuver (do they know that these creative names drive me wild?!): the Manhattan Drop, the  Standing Chickenwing, the Stu Hart Special, the Code Ted, the Arabian Press, the Driving Spike DDT, the Hart Destroyer, the Electric Chair.  It makes me dizzy with excitement hearing and thinking about all those awesome moves.

The story of the match is that MJF, the “two year veteran” (i.e. the rookie),  has met his match and is going to take a lesson in respect from an Uber-talented wrestling god, a true veteran.  Teddy Hart is pro wrestling royalty, the crown prince and heir to the Hart Dungeon, plus all the fans all love him, so MJF better learn to respect him.

MJF does gain the upper hand at several points in the match.  He attacks Teddy Hart’s fingers and arms which he bends and twists while poor Teddy looks like he is crying in pain.  This makes MJF actually seem weaker and more desperate, needing to resort to Finger Benders whereas Teddy unleashes nothing but killer High Risk Finishers with cool names.

For example, here we see Teddy snap MJF’s neck between the ring ropes.

This is one of the most brutal acts of cruelty inflicted by Hart, who clearly does not care if he hurts poor MJF.  He ties up MJF’s arms so the stud can’t defend himself, then falls back to spike the dude’s face into the mat.  Clunk!

MJF comes off seeming tough just for surviving these devastating maneuvers.  It sure makes me like him as a wrestler — along with those snug green trunks.

When a wrestler looks impressive and well-endowed in his trunks, it’s common in pro wrestling to go ahead and destroy his proud manhood.

This match is no exception as Hart emasculates cocky MJF with a Turnbuckle Nut-Buster and a big Reverse Atomic Drop.  A big part of the destruction of the Heel is the neutering of his sexual prowess — the cancellation of any sexual threat.

The final act of humiliation is this deliberately explicit “Money Shot” pinning position where Teddy hooks the leg up high to really open up that taint region.  He is a precise and deliberate expert so he knows exactly what he’s doing here and what the effect will be when he hooks that leg up high.

In a different video filmed after the match, MJF shows huge respect for Teddy as he should and they hug it out.  This is the fourth time they’ve hugged tonight but who’s counting — dang, get a room boys.

This is a very manly outcome, to forget the violence and competition they just inflicted on each other and now end up as respectful best pals.  Aren’t men just awesome?!

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