Ted Tortured, part 1 of 2

Ted DiBiase Jr. is no longer playing the arrogant, spoiled Rich Boy as he did when he was part of Legacy. He was formerly a One-Percenter, wealthy son of the Million Dollar Man and holder of the Million Dollar Belt.

Now he is a regular guy, a man of the people, someone who takes time to interact and flirt with the fans.  He puts his body on display for the fans to inspire their compassion, wearing stretchy red trunks. He flashes his smile to demonstrate his friendly, good-natured attitude.

Many of the popular Baby-faces in the modern wrestling ring (such as Orton or Punk) are anti-heroes with a dark side.  Fans today are too cynical and jaded to accept the traditional perfect, lovable, ever-honest Good Boy.  Most modern heroes are somewhat dark, vicious, and hard, but still have a heart of gold deep down.

But Ted DiBiase plays an old-school hero in the style of the Young Rockers, or Ricky Steamboat, or young Bob Backlund.  He is always good and friendly, smiles relentlessly, and spreads peace and love and happy feelings every time he enters the arena.  He is too good to be true.  He is the sort of Baby-Face that it’s very easy to cheer for — and once the fans fall in love with a pretty-boy like this, the promoters have the fans exactly where they want them…

On the 12/16/11 episode of WWE Smackdown, Ted faced the red-headed bad boy Heath Slater.  Our beloved Fan Favorite of course must endure several minutes of torture at the hands of his sadistic, twisted, jealous opponent.  The red-head goes to work on our hero’s spine, even using one of my personal favorite back-breakers, bending the boy-toy around the ring post!  (Love when they do that…)

In the end, our smiling Pretty-Boy wins the match, but he is then viciously blind-sided by his rival, Jinder Mahal, who clubs him over the head with an elbow.  Clothed in pure white trunks and boots, Mahal is dressed to impress — his snow-white gear meant to symbolize wealth, privilege, and perfection.  Poor Teddy-boy already suffered back pain inflicted by sadistic Slater, and now Mahal continues the spinal torture using the good old Camel Clutch — one of the most mysterious, injury-causing, and feared holds known to the wrestling world!

This is so wrong!  I thought WWE was against bullying, yet they’ve allowed this foreign thug to sneak into the ring, attack our poor hero, and break his back with the deadly Camel Clutch!  Our love for lovable Ted makes this injustice that much harder to witness!

I do however enjoy seeing killer holds like the Camel Clutch being brought out of retirement and put to use again — the good old holds being granted the dangerous power and respect they had years ago. It’s nice to see that a Camel Clutch can still leave a man broken on the mat. It’s like when you hear an old song that you almost forgot about, and it brings back those happy memories of exciting (or arousing) times from long ago.  Thanks for the memories, Jinder!

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4 Responses to Ted Tortured, part 1 of 2

  1. Marc Pedn says:

    Daddie Ted was this big slab of beef, every Jobber wanted to get into the ring with. And why not? Thick, Masculine, Gruff voice and a bear. Ted Jr. a different story. The ALL AMERICAN Boy next door Look. G/Q model- Abercrombie & Fitch- Outdoor Life- a face belonging on every publication dedicated to men. Would I want him living next door to me? Mowing his grass, washing his car with his shirt off? Lying in the sun by the pool, with NOTHING on but his speedo? I can Dream, Can’t I?

  2. Stay Puft says:

    I, too, love this brighter side of Ted–and the inevitable beatdowns it brings on!

  3. John says:

    Totally agree! Ted Jr is the new Brad Armstrong for me. Hot hunk of man who can sell it or dish it ….in those hot trunks! Grrrr.

  4. hard says:

    Love the camels. Especially the one with the guy in the white tight little shorts screaming over Ted telling him what a bitch he is. Damn that and the one in the Camel Clutch where the guy’s proturding tongue would just fit in the other guy’s screaming mouth are both ones that make me rock hard. Do more camels!! You’re right its so suggestive of a rape – ass griding on ass and dick up against the other man’s back whose at his complete mercy.