Name That Wrestler

The wrestling artist known as Perfect Slam recently emailed me to let me know he is putting finishing touches on his most recent e-book. He uses 3D illustrator software to create graphic novels describing a fantasy pro wrestling universe populated by impossibly gorgeous and sexually liberated rasslers.

Here is how he described his upcoming e-book:

It’s a total squash, just as I like them.  Spent a lot of time getting the gear to where it is, and I’ve got a nice flexible system which gives me scene options…

This comic might even be a few pages longer and hoping to have it done by the end of next week.  If you have anything you might want to see, I’m game for ideas.

Also, I still haven’t even come up with names for these guys…  

So I proposed to Perfect Slam that my loyal readers could help him by suggesting some good names for the two wrestlers involved in his upcoming art work. The first combatant is a strapping young stud in green singlet and amateur rasslin shoes. It seems he is new to pro wrestling so he decided to just get in the ring for his debut match wearing his college gear. This will play off the old wrestling trope of Amateur Clueless Chump vs. Experienced Pro Wrestling Murderer.

I’m thinking a modern pretty-boy name might work for the Singlet Rookie — like Jaxton, or Tyler, or Colton — what do you think? The most popular boys names from year 2000 (assuming that Singlet Rookie is 20 years old) were Jacob, Michael, Matthew, Joshua, and Christopher. Any of these would make a good jobbery name. Any favorites to recommend?

Maybe he should have a simple and generic last name like the jobbers of yore, such as Starr or Hawk or Tyson. Or we could relate him to a celeb heartthrob with a last name like Ephron, Bieber, or DiCaprio.

His opponent (and the object of my gaze) is this beefy slab of manhood whom the artist has nicknamed “Jefe” which means “Boss” in Spanish. I think he should be given an intimidating name that depicts strength and power such as Brock or Kraven or Savage.

If we’re sticking with the Spanish theme, maybe Maximo or Músculos would work. He also reminds me a little of Goldberg. Any ideas…?

Perfect Slam’s previous e-books have inspired several articles here on the Wrestling Arsenal. On 7/3/17 I wrote about Perfect Slam’s excellent first comic book: a 30-page story about a masked Crusher dominating some muscular pretty-boy which you can download for like $12.

My 7/30/17 article described Perfect Slam’s e-book entitled “Sex and Violence — All the Good Things in Life” (which is also still available for download.) If you’ve viewed his prior stories, you’ll know they end in the sexual degradation of the losing wrestler. This is a stipulation in this fantasy federation –> to the Victor goes the spoils. Unfortunately for the Singlet Rookie, I suspect that this stipulation remains in play and I suspect that the Big Boss in the tight red trunks is very excited about that.

So please help out Mr. Slam, who has already put in a ton of time and energy creating these hot comics for our viewing pleasure. Take this opportunity to play Booker by coming up with some great rasslin’ names for the Singlet Rookie and the Big Boss. You can either post your suggestions as comments under this article or simply email them to me.

To ensure we help him out and take some time to think up good names, I am suspending new updates to this blog until we receive 3 to 5 usable suggestions for each wrestler. I will keep you posted on the names chosen by the artist and where you can download his latest book. Below is one of the holds that will appear in the story to show you the high quality of this work and to get your creative juices flowing…

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8 Responses to Name That Wrestler

  1. Dino says:

    I think Red Savage and Austin Forest would be good names for these two.

  2. Perfect Slam says:

    Someone directed me to:

    Let’s also see what people can come up with.

  3. DREW RUSSELL says:

    Sebastian Starr and Magnus

  4. Sean Pford says:

    Jobber: Johnny Gripp
    Heel: Padre Pain
    (It ain’t easy being cheesy.)

  5. Chris says:

    Rookie: Jacob LaFleur
    Heel: Professor Punishment

    Jacob is the first name I thought of when I saw the rookie before I read any of the text. LaFleur has a nice ring to it, and is a fun wordplay since he is being trampled like a flower.

    Professor Punishment came to mind because I imagine him as not just a big beast, but also a man who is brilliant and able to trick and trap his young opponents into the scenarios of his choosing. I imagine Professor saw Jacob in one of his classes and helped set the jock up for his inescapable punishment.

    As for extra ideas, would love to see Jacob tied in the ring ropes, handcuffed behind his back, bound in the turnbuckles, or some other forms of bondage/restraint during and/or after the match. The Professor could also show Jacob how much pleasure a young man’s nipples can give him.

  6. Sean Pford says:

    Also: Claude Balls. Or Claude Traps. But I can’t decide if that would be a heel name or a jobber name?

  7. outfitter says:

    Heel: Brick Hauser
    Jobber: Danny Danello

  8. JorgePr says:

    I like Jaxton, Joshua, Ryan or Zack. Maybe combine them with some 80-90s jobber’s last name?

    Joshua Knight or Joshua Thompson sounds good (for Trent Knight and Curtis Thompson).
    Ryan Thompson?
    Zack Armstrong? Zachary Armstrong?
    What about Emory or Kenny Angel (sweet)? (as for jobbers Bob Emory, Kenny Kendall and Tommy Angel… make up a name using real former jobbers names)

    It could also be Patrick, Ben, Matt or Danny (can’t fail with that those).