Frequent visitors to this Blog are probably aware that I love Tag Team wrestling, and that I love Underground wrestling. So when an Underground website offers us Tag Team wrestle-porn — well don’t bother calling me that evening, and possibly again the next morning.
This recent upload to the Wrestler4Hire website begins with partners Cam Zagucci and Ace Owens already in the ring — side-by-side in bulging red bikinis and white jobber boots. These two guys! What perfect Baby-Faces! Which one is hotter? Which one has the prettier face, or more enticing body? I’m totally torn. I’ll take both (which is exactly what their opponent, Guido, gets to do when he shows up with no partner.)
So this is not technically a Tag Team match because there are only 3 dudes in the ring. But I’ll forgive that technicality because it still provides the key elements of an official Tag Team match: a huge disadvantage for the Good Guys, lots of brutality by the Bad Guy(s), and hot views of suffering in skimpy gear.
Cam reaches up with his legs to lock on this absolutely perfect Headscissor — one of the prettiest I’ve seen in 2019. This was one of those Holy Shit This Is Too Hot For Me To Make It Through moments for me, and it occurred fairly early in the match.
What great body positioning, what sexy legs and boots, what a powerful but helpless physique on the hairy victim!
Cam proceeds to work the hold, slapping his thigh like a classic pro Baby-Face, twisting his body to crank on more pressure, even flexing his bicep rather arrogantly at one point. It’s those little touches that give pro wrestling its magic, and Cam is all over it. Guido smiles devilishly because he knows this performance is gonna inspire several terabytes of video downloads.
Despite there being two Baby-Faces to manage, Guido still does a great job isolating one of them by disabling the other. Here he ties Cam’s wrist to the top rope, leaving Ace alone in the ring for this outrageously painful Suplex. So we still get our Please Save Me Partner moments despite the numbers advantage for the Red Team.
(They may, however, need to explain why Cam doesn’t just untie his left wrist using his free right hand, but let’s suspend our disbelief for the sake of excitement.)
But I’ll also forgive his over-acting because of those red trunks on him. Have you checked those out yet?
When Dirty Daddy is finished playing, he hangs his toy neatly in the corner and begins to play with his other toy. Thanks to Ace’s utter immobility in this Tree of Woe, we again witness the classic Tag Team themes of isolation and impotence, being forced to watch helplessly as your out-matched partner cries out for you to rescue him, just out of your reach.
Normally I prefer my Three-Way matches to be the two guys just dominating the loner, to experience the thrill of an over-whelming advantage. Even though this match shows the dominance of the loner over two hapless jobbers, it still works for me because it still depicts Guido having an over-whelming advantage. Especially when he’s able to incapacitate one of his two opponents at a time.
Well this is where my story ends. I won’t have time today to show you Guido’s multiple and repeated Pile Drivers, or the many Low Blows he inflicts (as the jobbers grab their nutsacks and make funny faces), or the degrading position he places them in at the end of the bout. If you want to see all that stuff (and it IS great stuff!), just go download the video — it’s like 20 bucks and will give you far more return-on-investment than the 20 bucks you gave your neighbor’s ungrateful kid just for making it through high school.