Topped Guys

It’s always a pleasure when my favorite Tag Team — The Revival — wrestles on RAW.   On the April 1st episode, they really blew me away by coming to the ring in matching electric blue trunks.

Oh how I couldn’t wait for them to peel off those jackets so I could get a better look!

Their opponents are their current rivals, Ricochet and Black, who have been actually kicking their asses in Non-Title Bouts in recent weeks.  Now that the belts are on the line, I am very concerned for my out-matched Dash and Dawson!  The story of the match is that the Revival are out-matched and ought to lose.

As I feared, the superior studs own my poor Dash, ragdolling him all over the ring.  Ricochet snaps on a series of devastating Arm Twists, forcing Dash to his knees as he emits loud, humiliating moans.

Then we see Ricochet roll up Dash’s fat ass several times for a near pinfall — my nerves can’t handle this! (but I enjoy the view,)

I forget what dirty trick the Revival used to gain the upper hand, but soon they’re choking out Ricochet in the ropes.

We are given the impression that only way Dash and Dawson can remain the “Top Guys” is through trickery and deceit.  (And I would not care if the Revival lost the belts, as long as I still would get to see them wrestle every week…)


I am such a sucker for great gear, seriously, what is wrong with me?   I could spend the next half hour watching Dash strut across the ring like he owns it, those snug aqua trunks pulling and stretching just so across that ample rump.

Their trademark hashtag — #FTR for “Fuck The Revival” — is printed boldly across their asses.

The Revival isolate Black for a nice long Arm Torture session.  What a joy to watch Dawson channel Arn Anderson by working his opponent’s arm (as the camera takes us on a journey between his thighs.)

These guys are so fun to watch, why would WWE even hint at the possibility of the Revival dropping the belts?

The Top Guys take turns trying to snap Aliester Black’s arm (usually his partner Ricochet plays the Face in Peril.)  Hopefully the decision to punish their stronger, more ruthless opponent foreshadows a Revival victory.

Both teams act out the classic Near Tag gimmick, the helpless man’s reach exceeding his grasp, with rescue (his partner’s out-stretched hand) just inches away.

Probably my favorite move was this devastating Gory Special Face Slam implemented by Dash on Ricochet.

With his arms pinioned behind his back, poor Ricochet has zero protection for his face.  And Dash clearly gives zero fucks if he just shattered this dude’s ribs.  Oh you nasty boy, Dash Wilder.

So the action spills out of the ring after Black tries to de-pants Dawson.  Then Ricochet performs a DEATH-DEFYING DIVE over the ropes to crash down on The Revival.

However, Dawson grabs Black’s leg to prevent him from getting back in the ring, and The Revival (the dirty cheaters) win by Count Out and hold onto their precious belts.

After the match, Aleister Black is unhappy with the outcome, so he unleashes his deadly Black Mass finishing move on Dawson — a spinning Heel Kick to the brain.

We are left with the sense that Black’s move is unbeatable, that he has the Revival’s number.  He could pull out this move at any time to defeat them!

And the audience supports Black and Ricochet, cheering as Dash and Dawson are punished!  Can’t these fools see how much hotter Dash and Dawson look in their trunks, how exciting it is to watch them in action?!   I need at least 5 more years to savor the Revival, to watch their relationship blossom and see them in every possible color and pattern of trunks.  But alas, the modern pro wrestling audience is fickle and easily bored, moving on very quickly the the Next Hot Thing.

Black gets back in the ring to assassinate Dawson as well with his killer Skull-Kick, again making his point that the Revival are wimps, that he can best them any time he wants.

My poor Revival studs come off looking like pussies who had to cheat to hold onto their belts.  This does not bode well for their future careers, but I’m sure enjoying their matches while I can.







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6 Responses to Topped Guys

  1. wishwecouldfight says:

    That final GIF really shows their intimacy, which is something a tag team should have.

  2. Phil says:

    The Revival is my absolute favorite current tag team. The blue matching trunks are too hot. You’re right about Dash’s strut. Perfection! I hope you’ll post more issues involving these two guys. I can watch them endlessly.

  3. Alex Miller says:

    I’m also happy to see the guys with the belts but upset at how their title run is being handled. At least they’ve been fun about it on social media. I like tag team wrestling being treated as a skill. Being an experienced tag team should mean something versus two scrubs from NXT who are randomly put together and suddenly dominant.

    I hate when wrestling writers ignore the own internal logic. Now Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins are winless, but somehow they’re the top contenders for a title shot at Wrestlemania? Stupid. Joey Ryan and the dick flip at least makes sense in the context of pro wrestling.

  4. outfitter says:

    The Revival are the only reason I watch RAW, and like the others posting here, I hate seeing them turned into jobbers by WWE. Their toughness and teamwork are their hallmarks, but apparently they have to cheat to win? I wish corporate would provide a better showcase and story line to match their talent.

    Love your commentary on their matches when you feature them. Dawson and Dash could fill the entire ‘Trunks Appreciation Society’ blog as well as they fill their trunks, as far as I’m concerned. They always sport different colors or patterns with their gear, and they seldom disappoint! My favorite has been the orange, black, and white brick-like pattern they wore a couple of years ago. It was appropriate since I think these guys are tough as bricks.

  5. Dino says:

    These two know how to show the crotch at every opportunity. I could look at that hot belly on Dash all day long. Nice big ass as well on him.

  6. Sean Pford says:

    Your text boxes match their trunks! 🙂

    I heart Dash. And that last gif.