Oh how I couldn’t wait for them to peel off those jackets so I could get a better look!
Their opponents are their current rivals, Ricochet and Black, who have been actually kicking their asses in Non-Title Bouts in recent weeks. Now that the belts are on the line, I am very concerned for my out-matched Dash and Dawson! The story of the match is that the Revival are out-matched and ought to lose.
As I feared, the superior studs own my poor Dash, ragdolling him all over the ring. Ricochet snaps on a series of devastating Arm Twists, forcing Dash to his knees as he emits loud, humiliating moans.
Then we see Ricochet roll up Dash’s fat ass several times for a near pinfall — my nerves can’t handle this! (but I enjoy the view,)
We are given the impression that only way Dash and Dawson can remain the “Top Guys” is through trickery and deceit. (And I would not care if the Revival lost the belts, as long as I still would get to see them wrestle every week…)
I am such a sucker for great gear, seriously, what is wrong with me? I could spend the next half hour watching Dash strut across the ring like he owns it, those snug aqua trunks pulling and stretching just so across that ample rump.
Their trademark hashtag — #FTR for “Fuck The Revival” — is printed boldly across their asses.
These guys are so fun to watch, why would WWE even hint at the possibility of the Revival dropping the belts?
The Top Guys take turns trying to snap Aliester Black’s arm (usually his partner Ricochet plays the Face in Peril.) Hopefully the decision to punish their stronger, more ruthless opponent foreshadows a Revival victory.
With his arms pinioned behind his back, poor Ricochet has zero protection for his face. And Dash clearly gives zero fucks if he just shattered this dude’s ribs. Oh you nasty boy, Dash Wilder.
However, Dawson grabs Black’s leg to prevent him from getting back in the ring, and The Revival (the dirty cheaters) win by Count Out and hold onto their precious belts.
We are left with the sense that Black’s move is unbeatable, that he has the Revival’s number. He could pull out this move at any time to defeat them!
And the audience supports Black and Ricochet, cheering as Dash and Dawson are punished! Can’t these fools see how much hotter Dash and Dawson look in their trunks, how exciting it is to watch them in action?! I need at least 5 more years to savor the Revival, to watch their relationship blossom and see them in every possible color and pattern of trunks. But alas, the modern pro wrestling audience is fickle and easily bored, moving on very quickly the the Next Hot Thing.
My poor Revival studs come off looking like pussies who had to cheat to hold onto their belts. This does not bode well for their future careers, but I’m sure enjoying their matches while I can.