Clash of the Titans

The blogger from “He Is Out!” recently posted some fantastic images featuring Billy Jack Haynes against Hercules Hernandez.  Both of these big slabs of beef fancied themselves the dominant powerhouses of their day, so to see them facing off in the ring means that we will finally get to find out which one is the more powerful.  More than a victory is at stake — this fight will determine who rules the locker room as the true Alpha Male.

As I describe this match and the power struggle it depicts, I will share images from the He Is Out! blog along with a few of my own creation.

SUPRISE! Time for your nap.

Hercules establishes himself right away as the more aggressive stud with this brain-rattling Clothesline.

Poor Billy Jack is stunned by this assault, his leg flopping helplessly down across his attacker’s back like a blow-up doll that’s sprung a leak.

A Jack-Hammer to the upper back weakens Billy Jack.

Hercules proceeds to work on Billy Jack’s back — hammering him across the spine, whipping him into the buckles, hoisting him up for some beautiful slow-motion Suplexes.  We see Billy Jack growing weaker — his defenses against the inevitable Full Nelson being methodically dismantled so he won’t be able to defend himself.

Here is a Bearhug image from a different match between these two power-houses.  I posted the image anyway because I think Billy Jack looks hot cringing in agony and forced to concede that Hercules is stronger than him.

I'm not done hurting him yet!

Oh hell yes!  Hercules degrades his opponent by picking him up on the count of two rather than pinning him.  I love it when they interrupt the 3-count!

Herc sends the message that he COULD defeat this chump if he felt like it, but he’d rather inflict more punishment.

NOW who is the stronger man?!

Check out this display of raw power!  Hercules hoists Haynes aloft with a fistful of yellow spandex, then Body-Slams him on his wallet to further punish that lower back.

This further demonstrates that Herc is more powerful and will inevitably rule over submissive Billy Jack.

YES! We finally get to see the Nelson applied.

Both of these beasts often use the Full Nelson (an ideal hold for musclemen) as their patented finisher.  The commentators tease us throughout the match, wondering which swole stud is the true Master of the Full Nelson.  FINALLY, Hercules slaps it on tight and proceeds torture Billy Jack, which clearly answers that question.

Billy Jack's strength begins to fade.

Whoever wins the match will be forever crowned as the “Master of the Full Nelson”  (at least until Chris Masters came along.)  So there is more at stake here than mere bragging rights.  They are battling for access to this powerful weapon in the future.  The loser, we assume, will be forbidden from applying Full Nelsons ever again.

All the fight has been drained out of Billy Jack.

Oh this is the stuff fantasies are made of!  We see proud Billy Jack fallen to his knees, defeated by his own patented hold, his arms limp and floppy as the ref checks him. Whoever planned this match and booked Billy Jack to be completely humiliated and embarrassed in a Nelson MUST realize what a big turn-on this is…

Who cares about the bell?? I only care about dominating.

So what happens next?   Billy Jack escapes the Nelson, the fight continues, both men fall out of the ring, and the ref counts them out.  The match is declared a draw, so we never officially establish a clear winner (although Herc was clearly dominant) — I suppose so they can keep on feuding and turning us on for a few more months.

If he is stupid enough to get up, just hit him again!

But Herc wants to send a clear message to Billy Jak and all his fans.  He grabs his steel chain and wraps it around his fist.  He sneak attacks his law-abiding opponent and drills him in the face with that chain.  And when poor Billy Jack slowly rises to his feet, Hercules is waiting to give him another Chained Fist to the forehead.

What a turn on — Hercules continuing to strike his opponent with that chain to further emasculate him, determined to bloody his face and force him to wear the Crimson Mask.

Sure enough, the blood begins to flow and Billy Jack seems shocked that any man could, or would, dominate him like this.  Rather than allowing Billy Jack to save face in the eyes of the fans, his reputation as a strong man is being erased, either by Hercules or the promoters who planned this torture scene.  Yes, the outcome was technically a draw, but the audience can plainly see that Billy Jack is a bleeding wussy and Hercules reigns as the true Master.

Blood in pro wrestling can be so damn entertaining when done at the right time in the right context.  Here the blood on the face is like a public humiliation — a scarlet letter forever marking Billy Jack as a weakling compared with Big Hercules.  It is undeniable proof of his bitch-ass-ness that won’t easily wash off. 

Gittup bitch, I still haven't hurt you enough yet!

Oh my goodness, handsome Billy Jack performs a face plant, leaving a red stain on the mat.  But dominant  Hercules is still not satisfied, dragging his ragdoll up by the hair for more abuse. Have we not already established that Herc is the true Alpha Male!  Hasn’t Billy Jack suffered enough already?!

NOW can we agree on who is the Master of the Full Nelson??

To take away and remaining shred of Billy Jack’s pride and dignity, Hercules locks on the Full Nelson — Billy Jack’s own bread and butter hold.  His face bloodied, the former Master of this hold is jostled, his thick arms flopping like limp noodles, then dumped to the mat like a bag of trash.  Total domination is such a rush!

Great job on your images and animations Tetsuya!  As always, thanks for the inspiration.