Win-Win

I love All Pro Wrestling (APW) because they post their weekly pro wrestling episodes on YouTube.  I love APW even more now that “Old School” Oliver John has joined the federation.  Phwoar!!  He is the thick, bald, buff slab of beef, peeling off his gorgeous robe in these photos to reveal his rockhard body busting out of a stretchy little blue speedo.

This match (and many other great APW episodes) is available on YouTube.  I will look forward to downloading each APW episode if they’re going to have Oliver John on the roster, wow!  His opponent is a pale rookie, Allen Michaels, with only 10 matches under his belt.

Oliver’s experience, size, and muscles are sharply in contrast with his vulnerable, soft little opponent in the yellow trunks and black tights.  John conveys power and confidence with every move as he assumes control of the young man.

Question — Can we petition the government to pass  a law that Oliver John can never wear shirts or pants — and send the police to confiscate all his clothing other than his too-small wrestling trunks?   I’d sign that petition until my pen ran out of ink.

Sounding like a gunshot, the veteran slaps his pale victim on the skin of his back.  Soon after, the most shocking moment of the match occurs when the kid pays back Oliver John by smacking him on the backside as well.

What was this uppity rookie thinking??  Even if Mr. John slaps your back 25 times, you do not EVER slap him back!  Now we know for sure this kid will suffer some serious agony, and we will understand why he deserves it.

The real challenge of any well-done pro wrestling match is how to make both men look good — how to enable both the winner and the loser to get over with the fans and advance in popularity and fan-love.

It is obvious how this match makes Oliver John look good — dominant, powerful, he just crushes the weaker man with that thick, boner-inducing gorilla body.

It is less obvious how this match inflates the loser — Allen Michaels.  By slapping the big, beefy veteran on the back, he showed that he is fearless and bold — not your average jobber push-over.

One way to be popular with the fans is to deliver a stiff beating, and the other way is to take one.  By absorbing the brutal attacks, Michaels proves he has balls of steel.

His body spread out on the mat and wide open to assault, he permits Oliver John to violate him at will.  He gains the respect of the audience through his pain tolerance and  tenacity.

The announcers add to the beaten man’s reputation as a tough, dedicated wrestler by mentioning his fire, his intestinal fortitude, his willingness to get in the ring, to disrespect Old School Oliver John, and to pay the piper in full.

Their comments are designed to make both men look good and gain fans.  They praise the young man, in spite of his pathetic performance, to make us fall in love with him.

Ever the professional, Oliver John provides a post-match victory interview (glistening in sweat, by the way) in which he too praises Michaels, pointing out how tough and determined the other man is.  This too helps to promote both men, to raise their stature in the eyes of the fans.