A Seductive Cologne

Does anyone remember a jobber from the 1980’s named Tony Colon?  Man there was just something about him — that thick black beard like a barbarian, long flowing mane of dark hair, heavy build filling out his stretchy red trunks.  I recently found this old match featuring Tony Colon, and it really brought back some memories.  By the way, “Colon” is pronounced as “Cologne” — i.e., a man’s fragrance.

Colon was a jobber to all the cute Baby-Faces being pushed in the early 1980’s, but I didn’t care if he lost — I still looked forward to seeing him wrestling around in his trade-mark red trunks.  He taught me that it can sometimes feel good to cheer for the loser, if the loser is a turn-on.  During every commercial break, I’d sit there hoping my poor Tony would be the one standing in the ring, waiting for the more-popular opponent, anticipating his inevitable punishment.

I knew I was supposed to support the good-guy in the match — handsome young Salvatore Bellomo.  He was the rising star, the young hopeful proudly wearing the Italian flag colors on his singlet as the announcers sang his praises.

But I wasn’t like most wrestling fans.  I just wanted to see Colon whipping and dominating the pretty-boy.  I even recall saying to the television: “Get him Colon!  Yeah, get him!”

Later in his career, Bellomo would become a vicious Heel and beat up fan-favorites like rookie Paul Roma, but early on, young Bellomo played the lovable Baby-face.  Maybe Bellomo learned to be a bad-ass from Tony Colon.

Colon was a well-trained Heel, doing whatever he could to get the fans to hate him.  He’d pull hair, then bitch that his own hair had been pulled.  He’d grab the ropes like a coward the minute he was in trouble.  I don’t recall if he ever bit anyone, but I was sure on the edge of my chair hoping this sexy sunovabitch would gnaw on somebody’s face.

There must be a mean-streak in me, because I didn’t care how bad he cheated against this Italian pretty-boy, I still was in Colon’s corner.  He taught me, a good little boy, that sometimes bad is oh so good.

The commentators repeatedly draw our attention to Colon’s hot body.  One says: “He certainly is rugged built — Colon.”

The other announcer replies enthusiastically: “He sure is!  Obviously spends a lot of time in the gymnasium.”  Meanwhile the fans are hearing these suggestive comments and swooning.

Eventually my poor Tony Colon is crushed — first his balls smashed (his manhood destroyed) when Bellomo flops down on his groin, and later, his body compacted when big Bellomo splashes him.  Poor, hapless Tony Colon lost another one, but that was OK with me — I’d be staying up past midnight every Saturday, after everyone else was in bed, watching late night wrestling and hoping that he’d appear in the ring in his little red trunks, getting beaten up for our viewing pleasure once again.