I watched the recent SummerSlam pay-per-view to see just one match: Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre. I knew that these two talented hunks would deliver a violent, sexy, homo-erotic torture session, and boy howdy, did they ever!
This was my first viewing of the new WWE Thunderdome arena where the ring is surrounded by rows and rows of monitors, showing the faces of viewers at home enjoying the spectacle while socially distancing. Apparently they had to agree to a bunch of strict rules to have their faces shown on the Thunderdome monitors, such as keeping their clothes on. (Can you whip it out at least??)
I can’t get over that hairy chest on McIntyre. What a Man – fuuuuck!
Both men wore black leather trunks and boots (HOT!), so it was not obvious at first who would play the Dominant Heel. As much as I was hoping to see Randy take a beating from the sexy Scottish Psychopath, it seems the Viper will be in villain mode tonight, scurrying out of the ring like a bitch each time McIntyre tries to lock up with him.
The story they tell portrays Drew McIntyre as an impossibly powerful behemoth who can easily toss Randy around the ring (which he does right away.) Thus, we fans all know that naughty Randy will need to fight dirty to win, such as running McIntyre’s shoulder into the Corner Post, suplexing him onto a ringside table, and gouging out his eyes (stay tuned…)
It’s all very violent and arousing.
One of the reasons that Drew McIntyre turns me on is because he always positions his body toward the camera for our viewing pleasure. He is the Poser King! He has a keen sense of our gaze on him and he readily spreads his legs or twists his torso to give us a big eyeful of beefcake (as he casually looks away as if he has no idea that we’re vigorously jerking to him.)
He also seems to know how to position his cock just right so the light and shadow emphasize his manhood. What a talent!
One repeating motif that we see whenever Randy fights with Drew McIntyre is his use of Eye Gouges. We get the sense that the way Randy intends to bring the powerful Scottsman down to his level, the way he can easily subdue and castrate the more powerful man, is by blinding him.
We see Randy’s dirty eye attacks a few times in this match, plus in several of their violent scrums leading up to it. I speculated about the erotic appeal of eye gouges back in 2012 when I wrote my “Low Blow to the Eyes” article.
The most intensely erotic and dramatic part of the match was probably when Drew tortured Randy in the dreaded Figure 4 Leglock. Drew grinds and pumps and raises his hips as if he’s really going to town on Randy’s leg while Randy sells the agony. Who knew WWE was still this hot!?!
And just try to guess how Randy breaks the hold and saps Drew’s Big Dick Energy…
I will admit, the Thunderdome concept really does give us the sense of an audience surrounding the ring.
And now I will confess what part of this match sent me over the edge and made me want to blog about it — the POST-MATCH VICTORY POSES BY DREW McINTYRE WERE SENSATIONAL!!
And they didn’t rush it either — they let the scene play out slowly, Drew flexing and showing us his incredible body, Randy sprawled on the floor utterly subdued, his legs wide apart as his tongue laps and licks. They really got me with this scene (and they might get me again just from writing about it…)
I actually don’t normally get off on the Victory Poses (unless it’s Drew McIntyre lording over Randy Orton I guess…)
Drew did not win decisively — it was a bullshit little Backslide. Also Randy assaulted Drew again the next week on RAW, even gouging his eyes again. So their feud is far from over, thank heavens!
Randy and Drew are now scheduled to wrestle in a few weeks on the next WWE Pay-per-View. Rumors are circulating that my Randy is gonna win (probably following a bunch of brutal Eye Rakes!) If that match turns out as hot as I think it will, I will blog about it here…