When My Guys Lose…

It is always a good episode of Smackdown when I get to see The Revival in action — even if they get their asses kicked (spoiler alert). Their bodies are a delight to look at, decked out in their traditional Trunks N Boots, in eye-catching bright red for their most recent appearance.

My guys played the Heels on the 1/17/20 episode of Smackdown against the high-flying Uso Brothers. The Uso’s are acting very cocky tonight, laughing in Dash and Dawson’s faces as if they’re certain of an easy victory. Damn, I want my Revival to hurt these skinny show-offs so bad, to wipe those cheesy grins off their faces!

One reason I like the Revival so much is their frequent Public Displays of Affection:

The Usos dominate in the beginning, shining like new pennies as they out-wrestle the bigger, slower Revival guys. To make it even more degrading for Dash and Dawson, the Usos laugh and joke and dance their way through the moves, as if it’s a Cake Walk to out-wrestle my guys. Come on Revival, fight back before I lose it here!

After Dawson delivers a sweet rope-bouncing Suplex, Dash crushes the Face-in-Peril under a big Body Splash and hooks his leg like a boss. I enjoy this scene very much because my guys are on top.

I see you Usos aren’t smirking and laughing now, huh?

We are treated to a picture-perfect Headlock by Dawson, who really cranks on the pressure with his big, thick arm. This is the best scene in the entire match — Uso being Headlocked and controlled by Daddy Dawson while the other Uso acts angry and worried.

One of the things that the WWE camermen always do well is to capture shots of the partners outside the ring, watching the action from their corners. They must know I get off on these partner-in-the-corner shots because they deliver plenty of them. I think it adds a homo-erotic tone to the match, to see a guy intently watching his best buddy perform, leaning on the ropes with an expression of concern or excitement or admiration.

Eventually the Usos reach the tag and the Fresh Uso enters the ring like a House on Fire. Again we see these cocky show-offs flying around the ring kicking ass, utterly bamboozling the slower Revival guys and easily dominating them. It’s so unfair — in a real fight, Dash and Dawson would break the Usos into pieces, amIright? But now, the Revival is forced to sell for these skinny chumps, putting them over and making them appear to be the better men.

The Revival’s trunks say “FTR” which stands for “F*ck The Revival.” This is a meta-textual reference to the way the promoters bury Dash and Dawson, seldom permitting them to show their true dominance by winning matches and titles. Instead, my guys are forced to put over every Tom, Dick, and Uso by letting them win. This seems to be have become their whole gimmick — that they can never win matches and are being held back by their bosses.

The Uso sails off the ropes, shades of Jimi Snuka, and splashes poor Dash, who expels a loud grunt upon impact. I think this careless bastard legit injured poor Dash Wilder — he seems pretty shook up. “FTR” indeed!

Then Dash is further “fucked” by having his legs spread open to display his privates as he is pinned in a degrading position. You can see what I mean in the Instant Replay of that gorgeous but treacherous Superfly Splash…

There is something very frustrating, but at the same time very arousing, when my favorite guys are used and abused like this — beaten and humiliated by less worthy opponents. Why do I feel excitement when I see my heroes beaten and harmed? I totally WANT the promoters to keep on burying them for years. Sorry guys, but it’s true. I can’t help it, I like what I like. I must have a sadistic streak…

It’s just like seeing Superman tied up with Kryptonite ropes and bullied by a wimpy Lex Luthor — it triggers these bitter-sweet and powerfully arousing chemical reactions in the brain which are so addictive. I guess these same chemicals are precisely the reason we all enjoy watching pro wrestling so much.

The Usos are meant to be the Baby-Faces, but they seem like the Heels in my thoughts because they injured my favorite guy (perhaps IRL). I don’t really have anything against the Usos — they seem like nice guys — but I prefer my wrestlers to dress a certain way, and look a certain way, and wrestle using certain holds, and I don’t support anybody on my wrestling show who distracts from that.

As the Revival are walking in shame to the locker-room, they are interviewed about their feelings after losing yet again. They say that “something needs to change in this company!” — again a meta reference to how their being booked as losers IRL by the promoters. Meanwhile my poor Dash continues to clutch his stomach as if the Usos broke something in him.

So are the Revival guys actually being over-looked and held back, or is this just a story-line? I guess both, Was Dash really injured by the cavalier and arrogant Uso, or is this also part of the story their telling? I’m not sure where the truth lies (which is part of what makes wrestling so compelling to watch.) One thing I do know for certain: Dash is a hottie!

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8 Responses to When My Guys Lose…

  1. Alex Miller says:

    Dash is so hot and he’s great on Twitter.

    I often love jobbers but for The Revival, I’d love to see them win in the end more often. Especially when The Usos are just so unlikable, which might be a bigger part of the problem. They kind of remind me of the Smoking Gunns in the 90’s. A really good and successful tag team but never quite respected or treated like they were multiple time champs.

    I’ve read that the WWE leadership (Vince) doesn’t like tag. I figure he doesn’t really want to like them but has to keep them around and promote them because he knows they’ll blow up AEW if they got the chance.

  2. outfitter says:

    I love The Revival, but I hate that WWE has turned them basically into jobbers. They are too good to get beaten consistently by high flyers. I like the fact that both Dawson and Dash can wrestle in a variety of styles from a high flying act to scientific to ground and pound. Unlike other tag teams, The Revival look proficient and comfortable with any style they choose, and both guys are terrific eye candy for men and women, alike. If they go to another wrestling promotion, I hope they get the opportunity to have a decent run as stud champions.

  3. admin says:

    Well said, you know your wrestling! I agree with everything you said. They do seem to be teasing a move to a different organization which may be a good thing for their Win/Loss record — but who knows if it’s real or a work…

  4. Dino says:

    Anybody else think that the belly on Dash is one of the sexiest around……..

  5. admin says:

    Yup — it is working for me. Just the right amount of bulk and hairy.

  6. Phil says:

    The USOs are fine but I love the Revival. Great bodies and chemistry and charisma. And……they can wrestle. I hope they’re not treated badly by Vince moving forward.

  7. rob aka BIGBOOTS says:

    Weighing in cause of the beauty stripped boots (no boot covers for these boys). And just a hint of their pulled up socks. Nice.

  8. Sean Pford says:

    Wow, I think I agree with this entire post, AND all the comments! 🙂