A rare match recently posted to YouTube features the British Bulldogs working as Heels against the beloved Rock and Roll Express.
This is the only time in their long careers that these two Tag Teams ever faced off, and that’s a good thing for Ricky and Robert because, for most of this half-hour battle, the Bulldogs just tear apart Ricky and Robert.
Ricky plays Face-in-Peril for most of this beat-down, and the Bulldogs work stiff on him. They punch and kick him, head-butt the back of his skull, strangle him with the Turnbuckle pad, toss him over the ropes a couple times, break his back, throw him around like a toy, and generally emasculate him. Wow, why do they fucking hate this poor guy so much?
The 1989 event where this rare encounter occurred was called “When Worlds Collide” because it featured wrestlers from All Japan (i.e. the Bulldogs) paired off with AWA guys (i.e., the R&R Express).
We even get in close enough to see that Ricky has grown a stubbly goatee here — I like that look. I would’ve gotten into him more if he had kept that facial hair.
Even though blond-boy Ricky was more beloved (especially by teenage girls), I was a Robert man myself. That hairy, manly chest — yes please! And his selling of this Flexing Headlock, with his squinched up eyes, feels more erotic and orgasmic than Ricky’s (see above), so I’m Team Robert all the way.
The Bulldogs wore their white tights and Union Jack trunks, along with beautiful red, white, and blue boots. This was probably my favorite outfit of theirs.
Dynamite Kid often loved to Scissor, using his thick, spandex-clad legs to maximum advantage. This match is no exception as he works Robert’s neck between his thighs for a while and I get all turned on.
Based on the one-sided dominance for most of the match, it seems the Bulldogs wanted to prove that All Japan was the tougher promotion, superior to the AWA. It’s as if they’re letting the world know that Real Men with big swole muscles fight for All Japan, and even the best team in the AWA are a couple of wimps that the Bulldogs can easily maul. The commentators even refer to it as a “torture chamber” at 22:17 into the video, which was kind of hot to hear.
For example, Davey presses poor Ricky overhead like he’s clean-and-jerking a barbell. The whole point is to say, Look how fucking strong I am and how weak and helpless HE is!
If you get off on one-sided beatings and excellent selling, you probably want to grab some tissues and check this one out.
There is a good bit of cheating and double-teaming by the Bulldogs (perhaps not as much as I would’ve liked, but I’ve got a sadistic side when it comes to Tag Team wrestling.) Above we see them work on Ricky’s arm behind the ref’s back, while Robert plays the Hey Ref Turn Around — They’re Killing My Partner Over There game.
And spoiler: I guess to keep the fans of both promotions happy and to preserve the reputations of both teams, the whole thing ended in a Time Limit Draw. But by then, I was long past satisfied.