Actual Holds!


A lot of you classic wrestling lovers told me you’ve stopped watching the weekly WWE shows — and modern wrestling in general — because they don’t actually WRESTLE.  I get it — wrestlers of today are taught to mostly run around the ring, trade slaps, flop onto each other, and minimize the length of actual skin contact between their bodies.

But I kept watching anyway because the guys are so buff, and some like the Miz still wear traditional trunks.  Well you’ll be pleased to know that they’ve started performing some actual WRESTLING again on Monday nights — using actual holds like Sleepers and Figure 4 Leglocks!



On the 2/12/18 episode of RAW, the Miz applied an actual Sleeper Hold and kept it locked on for more then 5 seconds, and my heart was aflutter!

The holds are what puts the gay in Gay Wrestling.  It’s just not homo-erotic enough when they barely touch each other…

03takedownI don’t often write about John Cena on this blog — (other than when he’s in Cena Position, pretending to blow the other wrestlers.)   I can’t support wearing denim in the ring, and he’s not cute enough to qualify for my Baby-Face spank bank.

But damn, his selling is so beautiful in this match, I’m starting to re-think my feels for him…


Cena reminds me of Ric Flair the way he rules the Federation, yet plays the submissive bitch in the ring.  Like Cena, Flair was a huge success and long-time champion, yet when he wrestled, he would always check his ego in the locker-room and flop to his knees, making all his opponents look tough by willingly letting them dominate.


4fig44Cena earns big points from me when he lets The Miz slap on repeated Figure 4 Leglocks (another Ric Flair reference…)

I greatly appreciate The Miz employing old-timey wrestling holds like this Grand-daddy of all Leglocks rather than just chopping chests and leaping off the ropes like most Millenial wrestlers.

However, if I can make one suggestion, the Miz could make it even sexier if he’d grind his hips, really humping that trapped leg.  That’s what Flair used to do, and it always got me.


Who knew you could get a wrestling boner on a Monday night?!


06slammedEventually Cena escaped from these repeated torture holds and destroyed Miz with this devastating Fireman’s Carry Into Body-Slam with Crotch Grope maneuver, putting his victim’s genitals on display to sexually degrade him before our eyes.

Truthfully, I don’t really care who wins as long as there are some hot full-body-contact actual HOLDS to savor along the way, and this match delivered.  I will continue tuning in to RAW on Monday nights and hoping Miz is on the card to WRESTLE for us!




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One Response to Actual Holds!

  1. Indy Fan says:

    thank you! you are right not enough holds or even body contact. i agree with damn denim shorts as well. if you got it flaunt it. that is what these wrestlers need to learn. add to the fact annoying commercials in the middle of a match. made me stop watching raw.