“Screams of Anguish”

I love Flair's gorgeous, flamboyant, queer-looking robes.

I love Flair’s gorgeous, flamboyant, queer-looking robes.







Classic Ric Flair matches are a “sure thing” for me.  From his spectacular Drag-Queen inspired robes, to his cocky attitude, to his flowing blond locks, he really was a great performer and exciting wrestler.  And if you watch enough of his matches, you’ll see that Flair was actually a very submissive jobber, letting all his opponents over-power and rule him.  (Maybe that’s why I love him so.)


This match against Kevin von Erich, recently posted to YouTube is a good example of Flair’s submissive antics.

Playing the hero, Kevin wore plain white trunks which, paired with his bare feet, make us think of him wrestling around in his underwear.





Flair's arms are no match for those thick tree-trunks.

Flair’s arms are no match for those thick tree-trunks.

If you get off on Headscissors, this match is a Must Watch for you.  Kevin is in a Scissoring mood against Flair and captures him in repeated skull-crushing Leg Vices which Flair sells obediently.














You can tell Flair appreciates a strong pair of legs.

You can tell Flair appreciates a strong pair of thighs.

While in Kevin’s scissors, Flair does this thing where he gently touches and slaps those flexing calf muscles.  He is very respectful about it and we get the sense that he worships those dominant legs.



Flair is sent right back to Scissor Heaven.

Flair breaks free for a moment and attempts a Headlock, so Kevin reaches right back up with those killer Legs and entraps him again.  Kevin’s legs are presented as an unbeatable force, the original Weapons of Mass Destruction.


The commentator begins to verbally fluff us up by describing Kevin’s crushing power:

Right back in the scissors of Kevin von Erich.  TREMENDOUS leg strength by the challenger!



Do you see how wonderfully submissive and weak Flair acts?  He gives Kevin full permission to scissor him over and over again, and begs him to stop.  Flair would’ve made a fantastic jobber!   He is like one of those executives who barks orders and makes decisions all day, but behind closed doors you learn that his bluster is just an act — that he truly craves being bossed around and dominated by a stronger man.

Flair has zero defense against those unbeatable legs!

Flair has zero defense against those unbeatable legs!

And Kevin isn’t done dominating the Champ yet.  He soars in the air and clutches Flair’s blond head between his thighs, whipping him down to the mat for some more ass-grinding Scissor action.  What a delight!




We then get some more dirty talk from the commentator:

Still caught in the headscissors and Kevin von Erich REALLY applying some pressure here.  The SCREAMS OF ANGUISH from Ric Flair!

Kevin is like a dog with a bone -- and I dig it.

Kevin is like a dog with a bone — and I dig it.

Damn Flair, how many times are you going to get your head caught between those grinding thighs?  Don’t you know it’s humiliating to have your face pressed right up into another man’s crack in public??  Have some self respect, you are the CHAMP for god’s sake!



We get to check out Kevin from the front and the back.

We get to check out Kevin from the front and the back.

Flair’s killer move, which we get to see in 99.9% of his matches, is the Figure 4 Leglock, but it is conspicuously absent in this match.  He could’ve destroyed Kevin’s legs with that hold, stopping him from applying these endless Scissors!

Yet the story of the match is the Champ’s helplessness against those legs.  He knows his Figure 4 Leglock is no match for Kevin’s powerful legs.  Flair presents himself as a fraud of a champion, utterly outmatched by the young challenger with the deadly tree-trunk legs.  THIS is what makes Flair such a pleasure in the ring — not that he kicks everyone’s ass, but that he willingly and eagerly allows everyone to kick his.


WOW! What a smooth, spectacular leap.

WOW! What a smooth, spectacular leap.

Here is how Kevin finished off Flair, with this amazing backwards leap off the top rope that wipes out the Champ.  Kevin is like Tarzan diving off a cliff to wrestle a crocodile, with the camera in the perfect position to capture it.

In truth, I would’ve enjoyed it more if Flair had been made to submit to Kevin’s killer Scissors rather than being tackled like this, but this soaring jump looks so slick and amazing, I had to include it in this write-up.

The show’s video editor know they’ve caught a pretty awesome stunt too, because he repeats the clip in slow motion like three more times for us.  Then Flair is declared the winner due to some bullshit technicality and gets to keep his precious gold belt.  WHOOOOOO!

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to “Screams of Anguish”

  1. Sean Pford says:

    In and of himself, Flair was never a great draw for me personally, but as a dominant heel, he certainly knew how to work over a jobber! 🙂 There are some great squashes, even of not 100% jobbers, like Jim Neidhart and Val Venis. When he won’t release that figure four and the bell keeps ringing…WOOF! (I mean, WOOOO!)

  2. K T Ong says:

    Good looks, beautifully sculpted figure… This Kevin is a Greek god. 🙂

  3. Phil says:

    It is just terrific that you’re back; what better way to usher in the New Year than Flair himself. Thanks for keeping this going.