How can guys in white shoes cheat this blatantly?
The annual Backlash event ran last Sunday, 9/11/16 — you can catch it on WWE Network. My favorite match was this Tag Team bout featuring the Usos beating down my Zack Ryder.
The Usos are in black gear and cheating a lot, so apparently they’ve become Nasty Savage Samoans (I thought they were good guys — I mean, check out their pretty white shoes!)
To my delight, they isolate Zack Ryder and punish the fuck out of him with a ton of Forearm Smashes to the spine, double-team moves, and even some illegal shit outside the ring. Their white shoes are highlighted as they stomp poor Zack and step on his neck.
These Usos make great Savage Beasts — a tribute to their great uncles, the Wild Samoans. I dig their Crazy Eye expressions, baring their teeth like cannibals wanting to bite a piece out of helpless Zack.
So are you officially a Jobber now?
The brutes toss Zack out of the ring for some Floor Humping. Rather than landing on his knees, he conks his brain-pan on the hard floor and ends up clutching his forehead pathetically.
One nice thing about WWE Big Events is they often debut fresh new gear. I don’t think we’ve seen these flashy silver and red costumes on the Hype Bros before — it’s a hot Baby-Face look.
No fuckin’ way you’re making that tag!
The Hype Bros perform plenty of the Helpless Face-in-Peril drama that I love — desperately reaching toward each other as the Heels frustrate them by keeping them apart.
Mojo is presented as an potential Unstoppable Force that’s been held at bay. Later the cheaters will crash him into the ringside barrier to render him utterly useless so they can focus solely on Zack.
Chop Blocking is outlawed in the NFL!
One of the most brutal looking attacks in the match was this nasty Chop Block, the evil Uso driving his shoulder right into Zack’s knee to snap his patellar tendon as well as his ACL.
The commentators freak out over the viciousness of this knee assault which makes it seem even more exciting to me. Zack is a sitting duck and these Samoans are just savage!
Now do you see why I’m a Ryder fan?
One of the Usos lays across Zack’s body to pin him, but he kicks out (after giving us a little peep show.)
NO leg in the world can withstand TWO Chop Blocks!
This cruel Chop Blocking is what is really turning me on to this match. Zack is held and distracted by one Samoan so the other can slam that white shoe into the back of the knee to punish it further!!
It looks so damn ruthless, to target the vulnerable knee area repeatedly. It’s too easy to hurt the guy!
The Wild Samoans lock on a vicious Leg Lock and Zack is forced to tap out. Suddenly I am loving these Usos as Heels, and I’m always into seeing more Hype Bros (particularly the weaker member of that team…)
The match plays well off the Pretty-Boy Next Door vs. Wild Savages dynamic, which is always entertaining.
I actually re-tweeted a pic of that single leg crab from the WWE feed. It’s so hot. All of Zack is incredible, but his inner thighs have some kind of hypnotic hold on me. The camera always seems to zoom in whenever he spreads himself open (or it’s done for him).