Bro Man

Jessie Godderz has a stunning physique and he loves to show it to us.  My God, he looks fantastic oiled up and flexing on his way to the ring.  And what a cocky vibe he radiates!  The only reason I don’t blog about him more is that his “Bro” persona has been comical and unappealing.  He is often made to act like an air-headed, inept, Fraternity stooge — that’s not hot.

This is a typical constraint our society places on the spectacular male: to emasculate him by turning him into a joke.  The best way to avert Gay Panic and to prevent young men from feeling attracted to a buff Adonis like Godderz is to present him as a buffoon.

However, in this TNA Xplosion match, now available on YouTube, Jessie sheds his usual goofy jerk-off gimmick and acts devious and vicious, an exemplary Chickenshit Heel.  His opponent in the black & yellow trunks (who has a pretty damn nice body of his own)  is named “Micah.”  Just one name — Micah and that’s it.

Micah proves to be a good match for Jessie.  Although Jessie is more muscular and shredded (I mean, just LOOK at that chest and arm!), Micah is buff too and is shown to be more determined, disciplined, and manly.

For example, when the two bucks lock horns in a Test of Strength, Micah flexes to gain the advantage.  Only a sneaky Hair-pull by Jessie enables him to overpower Micah.  But then Micah grits his teeth and powers out again.

They must be pushing Micah as the new Baby-Face sensation.  Check him out in those tight-ass black trunks, owning that Barbarian who cowers on his knees, begging for mercy.

But Jessie shines as the devious cowardly dickhead.  Every time Micah gains a little traction, Jessie calls for a Time Out, gouges Micah’s eyes, pulls hair, or pulls trunks — the traditional naughty and despicable antics that always seem to give me a boner.  Why would a muscle-man need to fight like a bitch?

Micah has a mohawk atop his head like a rooster comb.  It’s just long enough for Jessie to use as a handle.

Here the cheater escapes Micah’s armlock by snatching him by the hair and whipping him into the ropes.  By using shortcuts instead of fighting fair, Jessie is shown to be a sneaky (but powerful) bitch.

OOOF! Micah's gut is a frequent target.

Jessie also gets off on driving his knee into Micah’s exposed stomach.  He nails Micah with this move multiple times in a row.  Similar to yesterday’s Tim Horner match, this attack contrasts Jessie’s rock-hard abs with his opponent’s weaker core.

Earlier Jessie had paused to count off each bulge in his Six-Pack stomach, so these repeated Knee Drivers to Micah’s gut reveal a vulnerability in Micah that Jessie does not share.  It is also considered a dirty tactic to use in a wrestling match.  Real Men don’t knee other men in the gut.

Holding his head still makes it easier to hit the target.

Again Jessie grabs that rooster comb, drilling Micah in the face.  Despite his muscle advantage, Jessie still fights dirty, showing himself to be the less-masculine opponent.  One gets the impression that Jessie may have the bigger muscles, but Micah has the bigger balls.

The story they’re telling is that Jessie may have an incredible body, but he must resort to devious, bitchy tactics like hair-pulling to level the playing field with the more masculine, more talented Micah.

Here Jessie tortures Micah on the ropes, bending the helpless Baby-Face around the middle rope to prepare him for another series rib-shattering Elbows to the chest.

I am digging this new, vicious side of Jessie Godderz.  If he keeps this up, I will blog about him all the time.  I hope he never goes back to stumbling around, speaking in Bro, and twerking his ass like a douche.  I much prefer watching him brutalize some smaller chump while talking trash.

The very best scene occurs at 4:2o into the video when Godderz slaps on this gorgeous Abdominal Stretch.  This has to be one of the most appealing and impressive Ab Stretches I’ve seen in decades!  The mechanics of the Ab Stretch pit the attacker’s core strength against his victim’s torso in the ultimate gut-check.  The attacker strains his mid-section to apply pressure and the victim must flex in resistance to avoid injury.  How devastating does Jessie look with that thick, ripped body pouring on the pressure!?  And how totally out-matched is Micah’s stomach against this gorilla!?!

I realize that I am posting more images and animations from this match than I normally would, but fuck, I can’t help it.  Just LOOK at that!

The commentator adds to our excitement with verbal worship of Jessie and his power:  “This is an impressive maneuver.  You can see the striations, and the BODY, and the physique of Jessie Godderz!

Being the true Alpha Male, however, we see Micah power out and reverse the hold on Jessie, and we get a look at Jessie’s mid-section in twisted turmoil.  Typical short-cutter, Jessie grabs the ropes.

And how about this beautiful Flexing Body Scissor with Jessie pressing up off the mat to pour on more force as helpless Micah resembles a bug struggling under a rock!?!

Clearly Jessie should be able to waste the smaller man, and we should all worship him for his strength.  But the message of this match is that true masculine power resides in your heart (and perhaps between your legs), not in your biceps or chest.  A huge muscular man will prove to be inferior when a true Alpha Male decides to step up and kick his ass.  By winning the bout, Micah proves that inner manliness trumps outer musculature.

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One Response to Bro Man

  1. elijav says:

    The problem with Godderz is precisely because of his “bro” background and persona. He’s been in reality TV shows which are definitely a joke if you claim to be from Hollywood from that. The “bro” gimmick can also only get you so far since it really is meant to be a joke. Once John Cena got popular, he stopped rapping. Eric Young was downright vicious by the time he fought Bobby Roode for the championship.

    I’m personally not as big a fan of Jessie, but I was really turned on in the few moments Micah was beating on him. Micah isn’t too shabby himself and it’s hot to see Godderz’s perfectly sculpted body being twisted and manhandled, especially when he himself was put in the ab stretch. Almost seemed like Micah was entering him right there in the ring at one point. Will post those pics later on my blog