When it comes to pro wrestlers and their physiques, one area that immediately separates the men from the Doughboys is the midsection. With just a single glance above the belt, we suddenly find ourselves making a number of assumptions about the grappler in question.
Take for instance, the aptly-monikered “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig, with his washboard abs and his ideally-sculpted physique. Everything about this dude spells Alpha male; every muscle belies a sense of discipline and training worthy of a world champion.
So it’s no wonder that on July 29th, 1991, after sauntering into the arena in his usual aloof manner, that the WWF title holder would respond the way he did on spying the jobber selected for him to take on that day, a hapless out-of-shape ham-‘n-egger by the name of Mike Daniels.
In what must be one of the shortest matches in pro wrestling history, Hennig tosses the poor chump from the ring like a sack of garbage; but not before taking the guy to task, pointing disgustedly to his flabby waistline, comparing the jobber’s breadbasket to his own finely chiseled gut.
Mr. Perfect follows Daniels outside the ring for some additional punishment and humiliation, nearly stripping the guy of his trunks.
The ref, who seems equally disgusted by the flabby jobber, calls for the bell and brings the match to a quick end, declaring Hennig the winner. After Mr. Perfect’s arm is raised in victory by the ref, Hennig spits out the gum he had been chewing the whole time; much in the same way as, figuratively, he had just chewed up and spit out the “disgusting Doughboy” that had been selected for him to wrestle.
Though the responses of the general public may not be quite as extreme as Hennig’s, most people have a similar negative reaction to an overhang at the belt and make blanket assumptions about a guy carrying around a spare tire. Some words that come to mind: undisciplined, lazy, slob, among others.
What is it, then, aside from the obvious “husky guys like this are hot,” that makes a physical attribute so roundly criticized by most people, the spare tire, such a turn-on for Doughboy watchers?
One of the aspects of a jobber squash match that amps up the excitement is the manner in which the featured Doughboy is dismissed by nearly everyone. When a guy in the ring is booed and laughed at by an arena filled with wrestling fans, this public disapproval adds a dose of humiliation to the already inevitable squash.
A Doughboy saddled with a soft midsection is set apart for additional scrutiny and disapproval, adding another layer of degradation to the already maligned grappler.
This only serves to further heighten the erotic charge of these Doughboy squash matches. It’s as though the sight of that jobber carrying around that extra soft cushion at the waist sends out a signal to the Doughboy watcher. Though he may be dismissed by the general public and maligned by the match commentators, we throw our empathy and full allegiance to his corner of the ring.
Add to that the extra emphasis that spandex and snug-fitting ring attire can bring to that soft belly.
When a somewhat non-descript balding Doughboy such as John Taylor takes on the fearsome Vader, stuffed into a shiny singlet and tights, cheerfully acknowledging the camera at the start of the match, there’s a certain bravado there that translates into sex appeal.
So when he’s pounded in the corner of the ring with his ample belly jiggling as he winces or when he’s pinned at the end of the bout with his soft tummy repeatedly groped by Vader, there’s something going on there that, in the opinion of this wrestling fan, is undeniably hot!
Or take this apparently one-time-in-the-ring pro wrestler known only as Mark B. (does anyone know who this guy is and where we can see more of him?) He commands his all-too-brief screen time with such poise, owning his hulking frame and soft belly with utter confidence; so much so, that we long to see more of him.
Then there’s a jobber by the name of Chris Wallace—a heart-throb by all accounts, who, by rights, had the good looks to take him to the top-tier of the wrestling ranks. Is it that spare tire at the midsection that kept him on our team, employed as enhancement talent rather than wrestling alongside the headliners?
Add to that any number of the rank and file jobbers with that extra bit of dough in the breadbasket; from Brian Costello to David Isley. These are the guys that we tuned in to and looked up to week after week (and still visit to this day via YouTube and the internet).
Sure, we Doughboy watchers appreciate the finely-sculpted sight of Alpha males parading six-pack abs, but we’ve reserved a soft place in our hearts (and a hard place farther down) for jobbers packing that extra bit of dough!