The Side Job

Ethan Carter III is currently one of the hottest stars in TNA Impact Wrestling, so I was pleasantly surprised to find a video on YouTube where he wrestles for an Indy federation == Warriors of Wrestling (WOW).  I can never get too much of Ethan Carter in action — WOW indeed!

It is cool that TNA allows their talent to freelance for other federations rather than signing exclusive contracts.  This enables the boys to earn some extra dough (and have some fun rasslin’) when they aren’t needed in the main TNA storylines.  Also, fans have more opportunities to gawk at the TNA talent, like Mr. Carter with his swole physique and full-cut aqua trunks.  And we get to witness rare pairings — matches between guys who would never otherwise meet.

When I was a youngster, I had an active imagination and enjoyed dreaming up potential wrestling matches between random dudes — like what if Ric Flair were allowed to wrestle (and punish) Luke Skywalker?  Or what if the two cops from CHIPS were thrown in a cage with the Moondogs? — that sort of thing. (I was kind of a weird kid.)

Anyway, seeing a famous wrestler like EC3 climb in the ring to fight local stud Chris Steeler is similar to that Fantasy Wrestling federation that took place in my daydreams.  It was like seeing two worlds collide with EC3 (the Big Swinging Dick from one federation) squaring off against Steeler (the Big Swinging Dick from another).  Who would prove to be the Alpha Male??

At first, the spoiled Bad Boy promises to fight clean, but when the skillful and dextrous Chris Steeler begins to dominate the fight, flying all around in his little blue and yellow trunks (for example, knocking Carter on his ass outside the ring and holding his arms while the fans slapped his chest), Carter grows frustrated and resorts to brutality.

This is getting hot now — come on EC3, break that “Man of Steel”!  Show him why you’re a top draw!

Chris Steeler is clearly the hometown favorite.  Earlier he shouted to the crowd: “Whose House (is this)?” and they shouted back: “YOUR House.”    So for an outsider like Ethan Carter to waltz into Steeler’s own “house” and then strangle his neck on the ropes, claw at his face, and generally out-muscle him is totally insulting to Steeler.  It would be like some big cowboy walking in your front door, propping his dirty boots on your coffee table, then forcing you to fetch him beers as he spit tobacco on your dog.  Totally degrading and rude (and kind of hot to think about…)

But back to Steeler’s portrayal as Hometown Hero… he is smaller and less muscular than the chiseled EC3 so we have greater sympathy for the little underdog, Steeler.  Also Steeler appears to be more working class like most folks in the audience, whereas EC3 is a spoiled rotten, elite Rich Kid, so there is an element of Class Warfare in this match as well.

But the ultimate question being resolved in this match (and most wrestling matches) is:  Which opponent will end up being The Man, and which will turn out to be The Bitch?

Their body positions in this pinfall attempt illustrate which wrestler is currently dominant.  Carter is on top, his powerful haunches in the air.  Steeler, meanwhile, is on his back in a submissive pose, his legs up and spread apart, his face somewhere under Steeler’s mid-section.  So we interpret their positions to mean Carter is the Alpha.

Eventually, Steeler reasserts himself as The Man to the delight of his fans.  He even busts open Carter’s face (legit) in a barrage of elbow smashes.  And EC3 now reveals himself to be a “good worker” — to be willing to emasculate himself to put heroic Chris Steeler over as the dominant Alpha Male in front of his hometown audience.  EC3 is clearly a good sport.

Carter responds by kicking Steeler in the crotch which causes him (Carter) to be disqualified.  Carter likes to boast that he has never been pinned, so that streak can now continue, while at the same time, the local hero Chris Steeler gains the victory.  But wait, there’s more…

Even though he officially won the match by DQ, Steeler does not want to look like a bitch in front of his loyal fans, so he Superkicks EC3 twice — once in the dick and once in the face. The ball-kick represents the emasculation of big EC3 — the loss of his manhood, potency, and ability to fight.  He is left bloodied and broken as the smaller Chris Steeler exits the ring.

But wait — there’s still more!  EC3 has been arguing with the ref throughout the match.  After helping EC3 to his feet, the ref received a stiff push for his troubles.  This causes him to retaliate by slamming his forearm up into Carter’s family jewels.  Once again, the Big Man is converted into a Eunuch on his knees — his balls busted for the second time.

I must say, I give EC3 credit for taking this side job and for willingly portraying the emasculated bitch.  Not only was his face busted open — not only was he forced to job to the smaller, less famous Steeler — but he was also ball busted multiple times.  He even had to play Submissive Bitch to the ref after that latest Forearm Smash to his testicles!  So this had to be a painful, humiliating experience for EC3 probably for little compensation, yet he willingly degrades himself for us and allows himself to be castrated for our viewing pleasure.  Great job, EC3!

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