The Ring of Honor’s Top Prospect Tournament, which was covered last week on this blog, continued this week with another semi-final match.
The big mean biker dude covered in tattoos and long beard is Ray Rowe. The cute little guy in the bulging gray briefs is Corey Hollis. You gotta give Hollis credit for taking on this tall order, but I think we have an unfair mismatch here, wrestling fans. Check out the tale of the tape…
Is it even legal to put Corey Hollis in the ring against this much larger animal? I suppose any match-up is legal in pro wrestling. They threw cute little guys like Ricky Nelson & Tommy Angel into harm’s way with animals like Brody & Bundy for years, like ancient Christians getting tossed into the pit with bears. The popular wisdom is that the young wrestler has to “Pay His Dues” by suffering devastating agony and humiliation before he can be a top star.
And I am being too hard on Corey Hollis by likening him to a 1980’s jobber pretty-boy. He does have a smoking body and some mad wrestling skills. Hollis reminds me of a Justin Gabriel or Rey Misterio — an impeccable physique, killer high-flying offense, a cute face you just want to stare at, and an unbreakable spirit that keeps him bouncing back up even after he gets run over by a bus in most matches.
I would like nothing better than for Hollis to get on the ROH roster, or any roster, and show us his huge moves and his tiny trunks each week. GO HOLLIS!
But once that big hungry creature finally gets ahold of his agile young opponent, the devastation is awesome. He uses his 55 extra pounds of body-mass to deliver these fucken Haymakers to Corey’s cute face that just about spin his head in circles. And when Rowe picks up Hollis and whips him, it’s like Hollis weighs no more than a bagful of dry leaves being tossed out to the curb.
You may be thinking such a one-sided whipping would be boring, but you should see Corey’s beautiful body all stretched out and suffering.
You actually can view this match for up to one week on the Ring of Honor website. The most recent episode is posted for free, and for a Ringside Membership, you can watch all the old episodes featuring the Greatest Wrestling on the Planet.
Hollis leaps boldly off the ropes to headscissor Rowe’s face, but the larger man just easily catches him, like he’s catching a blanket somebody tossed at him. After a brief crotch-to-face ride on Rowe’s shoulders, Hollis earns some Frequent Flyer miles. Next, Rowe hoist Hollis up into a Full Nelson as if Hollis weighs less than a child, yanking the kid’s body up so suddenly and easily, you don’t know whether to mark out over Rowe’s strength, or feel total pity for poor little hapless Corey Hollis.
Ray Rowe is a Bad Man, and he proves it by yoinking Hollis up in the air, then slamming him down while KNEEING HIM RIGHT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD on the way down. OUCH! The move resembles CM Punks “Go to Sleep” finisher, but instead of driving the knee into the dude’s rock-solid forehead, Rowe strikes that soft spot at the base of his cranium.
And the announcers sell the bejesus out of this deadly finisher. They say thinks like: Omigosh — totally devastating finisher! No man could ever survive such a brutal move!! How could any wrestler avoid having his brains scrambled from this awesome killer move?! I forget the exact quotes but you get the idea — we are meant to fear and respect Ray Rowe and his devastating Knee-to-the-Brain finisher.
You see, in this tournament, fan favorite Andrew Everett is working his way to the finals. We need a big, unbeatable, scary beast for Everett to somehow defeat in the final battle. This Ray Rowe — with his totally deadly Go To Sleep killer move — strikes fear into our hearts, so he is the perfect obstacle for heroic Everett to overcome. I hope I am not spoiling the finish.
And as for Corey Hollis — so cute when he is out cold — sorry you didn’t win, kid. Stick with it, keep trying to beat massive guys who totally out-weigh you. Even if you never win, we love you anyway.
(In fact, we love you more when you lose.)