The Strife of Riley, 1 of 7

If you’re wondering whatever happened to Alex Riley, he is wrestling (and getting beaten up) on WWE NXT these days, the developmental federation which is only available on Hulu Plus in the USA.  Riley started his WWE career as a cocky Heel and friend of The Miz, but has been playing a Baby-Face Jobber ever since the two Cool Kids broke up.

I sure dig seeing Riley tortured in the ring, looking all eager and muscular in his streamlined little trunks but forever getting beaten down for his trouble!  I enjoy Riley so much, this is the first of seven galleries I will create featuring the destruction and dismantling of this former Superstar and once-dominant stud.  (I don’t actually have seven galleries ready to post at this time — but I am hoping to see at least six more beat-downs before they release Riley or his body can’t take any more abuse.)

Riley formed a partnership with fellow White Meat Babyface, Derrick Bateman, and joined the NXT Tag Team tournament.  For once in his career, Riley didn’t have to play the Face-in-Peril, the partner who gets owned and punished by cruel Kassius Ohno and beastly Leo Kruger.  That suffering stud role was played by Derrick Bateman this time, as Riley watched his partner suffer from their corner.

Finally Bateman is able to reach a tag and Riley bursts into the ring all glistening and heroic!  He is able to punish the sadistic Heels for a brief span, I suppose trying to salvage his career and his self-esteem.  But soon enough, Kruger distracts him while Ohno kicks his head off like he’s punting a football (gotta love a ruthless Heel!)     Poor Riley is out cold!

Kassius Ohno forces A-Ry to choose between tapping out like a bitch or getting his neck twisted off like a bottle cap.  Didja ever notice that bad-ass Heels like Ohno seem to behave just a little more vicious when their victim is gorgeous and spectacular like Alex Riley? Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your loser:   ALEX RILEY!

But in NXT, one humiliation is never enough (which is why I love NXT!).   The angry Bad Boy, Corey Graves, suddenly sneaks into the ring and attacks poor Riley from behind and puts him in a painful-looking Leglock!  You know the drill:  the bell is chiming, the ref is pleading with the sadistic attacker to let go, the victim is howling in agony, the fans are getting hot and bothered — it is an intense and arousing scene!

With a crazy Heel-Who-Enjoys-Hurting-People expression on his face, Graves rocks the hold, his shiny black boots locked together, his ripped jeans entangled around and between Riley’s bare legs.  Whew — I’m not sure HOW this leglock works (which Graves calls the “Thirteenth Step”) but I sure enjoy seeing it used!  Check out these animations, first Graves slapping on the hold, and then grinding his body for maximum leverage:

Riley already suffered enough at the hands (and boots) of Ohno and Kruger, so he can’t even defend himself.   Why, oh why, is Graves doing this to Alex Riley, who has done nothing against Graves?!  (It has something to do with Graves being angry over not being invited to join the Tag Team tournament.)   Why was Riley targeted as the sacrificial lamb for Graves to take out his anger and frustration on??  (That has something to do with Riley’s good looks and Boy Scout persona.)

Two officials try desperately to yank Graves off his victim, but Graves has a crazy, orgasmic expression on his face so he won’t stop until he’s finished.  And Riley of course continues to sell beautifully — the out-matched, over-wrought jobber-boy.

So what does it say about me that I like it when Alex Riley gets bullied like this?  Should I feel guilty for enjoying the pretend suffering of the spectacular muscle-man?  Should I be ashamed for being excited by pro wrestling?

Clearly my brain was hard-wired this way — and probably so were the brains of many other people given the fact that they showed Riley being forced to submit not just once, but twice, in the same show.  This isn’t a coincidence — this is a deliberate effort to use Alex Riley to stir up the emotions of the viewers.  We shouldn’t be blamed for reacting to this stimulation like lab rats!

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2 Responses to The Strife of Riley, 1 of 7

  1. Stay Puft says:

    I look forward to the next six! Alex Riley at his very hottest best.

  2. Bruno says:

    I saw this match on TV. Seeing Riley being humiliated and tortured by Graves was, I have to admit, pretty hot. But seriously, what did he do to deserve this? Why have the WWE gods cast him aside?