Pin Pals

So the dominant wrestler has been punishing and weakening his victim for a good six to eight minutes, which is really all just fore-play.  The climax  is when he lays down on top of the man, mounts him, and covers him chest to chest in the most intimate possible position. This is the money shot.

The victim is forced lay helpless on his back in the bottom position, totally degraded for not one, not two, but for three humiliating seconds to ensure the entire world can see that he’s been bested and beaten. Laying there against one’s will, unable to prevent the cover, is a declaration of submission and weakness, the ultimate emasculation.

To spice things up and keep it interesting, there are many different pinning positions — perhaps more than the number of positions described in the Kama Sutra. Sometimes a wrestler will hook a leg or both legs.  Sometimes he’ll lay down face to face in a traditional Missionary position.  Sometimes he’ll just kneel or stand on the helpless victim to show his utter disdain.

Sometimes he’ll use the Straddle, or the Jack-Knife, or the Crucifix, or the Victory Roll, or the Honeymooner, or the Small Package, or even the good old Schoolboy.  When watching pro wrestling on television, the names of these exotic pinning positions, as they roll of the tongues of the announcer, sure made the viewer want to practice these positions on some friend or playmate.

In boxing, they have a panel of judges vote on the winner.  In amateur wrestling, you earn points for certain actions such as a Take-Down or Reversal and the guy with the most points wins.  Why, do you suppose, that the sport of pro wrestling determines the winner in this very suggestive, degrading manner?  Their very body positions are a display of domination and submission, one man on top of the other. Given that many people accuse pro wrestling of being homo-erotic, shouldn’t they find a less enticing manner, perhaps with less skin-on-skin contact, to finish off the competition?