The most exciting and erotic scene on Tuesday’s episode of Smackdown didn’t even happen in the ring. Instead, a camera is taken backstage where a production guy is seen watching wrestling footage on a bank of monitors. We will call him Colton because he kind of looks like a Colton to me.
Another man in the room — Randy Orton — reaches in and grips Colton’s shoulders. It’s interesting that Colton does not react, look back, or shrug off this intimate contact. It seems as if he is accustomed to being massaged like this. Or maybe he is too shy and intimidated to stop Orton from grabbing him at will.
A very suggestive conversation occurs between Randy and Colton, with the Dom brashly ordering his Sub to play for him a specific video clip.
Randy: What’s taking so long?
Colton: Sorry sir — it takes a little bit to call up.
Randy: When I said, pull up the footage, I meant to be quick about it.
Colton: Yes sir!
We instantly notice Colton’s deliciously submissive attitude — referring to Orton as “sir,” responding obediently to Orton’s barked orders, allowing Orton to hold him by the shoulders for as long as he wishes. It sounds to me as if they’re role playing and presumably both are getting into it.
We notice that Colton has been watching Randy wrestle on all 8 video screens — implying an attraction or obsession with the man now gripping his shoulders. And Randy is watching Colton watch himself in the ring — both men fixated on Randy in action on the screens, punishing Jeff Hardy at the prior weekend’s violent Hell in a Cell event.
Still gripping Colton’s shoulders posessively, Randy continues to playfully dom him and intimidate him:
Randy: You do know what happens if you piss me off, right…?
Colton: Yes sir.
(Hey now wait a minute — I’m curious. WHAT exactly happens if Colton pisses Randy off??? Has it happened before? Can we watch? Does it involve leather, or handcuffs, or a dog collar?? Go ahead Colton — piss him off!)
The footage that Randy is so randy to watch shows him sticking a screwdriver through Jeff Hardy’s pierced earhole, which happened at Hell in a Cell. We can hear Randy’s excitement over seeing the moment unfold on screen in his growly voice: “Good. Right there! Right there, right there… That’s it. That’s it.” (Dang Randy, keep it in your pants!)
Randy has been playing around with Hardy’s hole a lot lately, sticking his finger in it on a recent Smackdown episode, and then sliding that long phallic screwdriver in at the pay-per-veew.
Obviously this earhole fucking is a reference to penetration, with Randy defiling Hardy by inserting objects into that hole. Check out their very salacious and orgasmic facial expressions in the prior photo, and Randy’s intense focus in this photo.
If Randy is so horny to watch this pay-per-view footage of himself and Hardy, why couldn’t he just pay the $9.99 to order the Network and watch it at home? Why does he need Colton to show it to him — as if Colton has the only copy? We get the sense that Colton’s presence, along with his very submissive behavior, add to Randy’s enjoyment of the Jeff Hardy torture scene. Why watch porn alone if you can watch it with a pal??
This is where Colton whimpers the perfect line: “Please sir, you’re hurting me!” Oh man, if that doesn’t make your dick twitch. It just doesn’t get any gayer than that. When have you ever heard that line, or said it to someone else, and you WEREN’T in a bedroom or a basement dungeon?
So Randy grabs the cute technician roughly by the chin — is THAT better? Colton begins to pant, but continues to obediently endure this humiliation from the brawny grappler whom he calls “sir.” I’m guessing everybody has a boner now — Randy has one, Colton definitely has one, and mine goes without saying.
By the way, I’m not the only perv who is picking up on this homo-erotic sub-text (or super-text?) between Randy and Colton. Others have tweeted and left comments under the YouTube video of this scene remarking how 50-Shades-of-Gay it seems. And I bet they all love it and will tune in again next Tuesday for more!
This abusive scene with Colton is actually inspired by real life events. Rumors have surfaced recently that Orton has been bullying and sexually taunting the backstage crew in a sort of #MeToo scandal.
Apparently, they claim Orton likes to strut around with his dick out, holding it in his hand and then ordering the workers to shake his hand or else. (May I shake the dick instead of the hand, sir?)
“For every new writer that would show up, he [would] come in the room put his hand down his pants, pull out his d—, touch himself, then say “I’m Randy Orton, shake my hand…Oh, you don’t want to shake my hand? You’re ‘big leaguing’ me? That’s f—– up man. Should I tell Vince and Steph you won’t shake Randy Orton’s hand?”
The writers would all start sweating and backing up into the corner, the guy’s d— is still hanging out, and he would be there cutting a promo on a guy with his d— hanging out for like five minutes.”
So THIS is why they’re showing Randy totally bullying this technician. They are referencing (and making fun of) the claims that Randy is an abusive #MeToo dick to the crew members. They’re playing up his Heel nature, blending the line between story and reality.
And instead of simply shaking Colton’s hand or rubbing his shoulders, we see Randy gripping his face with those grimy fingers! He is basically dick-slapping the dude.
On a recent episode of Smackdown, Randy made a big show of shaking the hands of all the employees around the ring, laughing all the while. What a dick!
He is clearly not taking the allegations seriously, which further builds his Dickhead Heel character.
Let me be clear that I do NOT condone bullying or unwanted sexual imposition in the workplace. But THIS scene feels more enticing to me than offensive — the wrestler getting rough and playful, the utter meekness and deference of the worker, the power dynamics, with videos of pro wrestling playing in the background (which Colton can barely take his eyes off of.)
If some good-looking wrestler like Randy wants to show me his d—, or grab up on my shoulders or my face, or maybe put me in some practice holds, I sure wouldn’t go filing any lawsuits over it. Hey WWE — let me know if you need someone to play a backstage technician for Randy to bully the next time you’re in my town!