Wednesday Night Wars — 10/16/19

Somehow I’m seeing NXT on my television now — it’s on USA Network on Wednesday nights at 8:00 PM.    NXT was only offered on the WWE Network but now they’re giving it to us on cable TV and they’ve expanded it to 2 hours (you can never have too much pro wrestling, amIright!)

If you’re old school like me and still have cable TV or a dish, go ahead and set your DVR.  There are some hot guys on NXT these days:  Adam Cole baybay, Tomasso Ciampa, Johnny Wrestling, my dreamboat Roderick Strong, and this stud in white briefs — Angel Garza (formerly known as Garza Junior) who took a nice beating from Tomasso Ciampa last Wednesday (see images below.)

Garza drops submissively to one knee and playfully offers to shake Ciampa’s hand, just begging the Heel Daddy to start ripping him limb from limb.

Tomasso Ciampa had been away from wrestling for a while — apparently he injured his neck.  Now he’s back, looking swole as ever, and they opened the show with his domination of hunky Angel Garza to grab our attention right from the start.

Once Angel is done shining (after he rips off his tear-away pants to reveal his skimpy trunks like he always does), you just know Ciampa is gonna brutalize that pretty-boy, and I can’t WAIT!   I’m chompin’ at the bit!  (See what I did there?)

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Meanwhile, over on the TNT network, a new federation called All Elite Wrestling (AEW) airs their weekly show — also at 8:00 PM on Wednesdays.  Now I understand why WWE is televising NXT on Wednesday nights — to directly compete with AEW and try to defeat them.

It’s a pro wrestling ratings war, similar to the old Monday Night Wars between WWE and WCW back in the 199os!  (If you’re too young to remember the Monday Night Wars, check out the Wikipedia article on it to get up to speed.)

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You should DVR the AEW show too — you can never have too much pro wrestling!  AEW has some super talented and boner popping guys on their roster as well — Chris Jericho,  Cody Rhodes, the Young Bucks, MJF, Jungle Boy, etc.

Many of the AEW guys are former WWE performers, and the WWE is not always portrayed as an employee-friendly company.  Therefore, this war is personal.  Some of these veterans would love to give their former bosses a beat-down, at least in the ratings.

 

 

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Here we see Jericho playing the dickhead Heel — refusing to release his dreaded Boston Crab even after the baby-face, young Darby Allin, grabs the ropes.  If there’s one thing Jericho has learned after nearly 30 years of rasslin, it’s how to get ratings.

He KNOWS if he cheats, if he acts like a douche, if he bullies the young fan favorite, we’re going to tune in to AEW week after week to see more of it!

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Bad boy Jericho grabs a roll of duct tape to bind the young man’s wrists! Apparently bondage is legal in a Philadelphia Street Fight.

Suddenly I’m pitching a tent in my living room and I’ve forgotten all about Angel Garza’s suffering over on the USA Network!

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This is the beauty of this ratings war between the two federations.  They’ve got to amp up the violence, the sexiness, the suffering, and the Heel brutality to attract more viewers and defeat their competition.

Rather than simply having Jericho out-wrestle young Darby Allin, they gave us a kinky bondage scene knowing that would keep our eyeballs glued to TNT, even if NXT actually has hotter looking guys.

 

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Allin plays the helpless jobber very nicely, rolling around to demonstrate his vulnerability.  Actually, he eventually gets to his feet and begins to fight back, jumping up and kicking Jericho despite having both hands tied behind his back.

While he’s doing that, let’s flip back over to USA Network and check on Angel Garza’s punishment…

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Garza pulls his pants off to reveal a beautiful white speedo (with angel logo on the crotch to draw our attention there.)   Ciampa then flies into a homo-phobic rage and begins stomping a mudhole in the pretty-boy.

Ciampa knows how to get ratings too (remember his steamy love affair with  Johnny Wrestling?!)  He is well aware that brutally punishing the beautiful young angel is always a big turn-on for the audience.

 

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Meanwhile, in the AEW ring, Darby Allin’s little Hope Spot is over.  We see Jericho clobber the poor kid in the throat, leaving him dazed and defenseless on the mat.

During the Monday Night Wars which began in 1995, we didn’t have DVRs yet (the TiVo wasn’t out until 1999).  So we had to choose either WWE or WCW, or flip endlessly between them.

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Nowadays, wrestling fans don’t really have to choose.  We can access all the wrestling we could ever want.  In fact, there is more hot wrestling available (including the blatantly homo-erotic fare on the wrestle-porn sites) than we have time in our lives to watch.

So each match needs to really hook you and hold onto you.  To compete in this over-saturated market, every match needs to deliver something special and extraordinary, such as Body-Slamming the handcuffed baby-face onto his own skateboard.  THAT is how you keep me interested!

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Or another way to keep me interested is to put a really gorgeous half-naked wrestler like Angel Garza in the ring with a brutal killer like Ciampa:

After Garza falls out of the ring to see if he still has all of his teeth, the enraged Heel attacks his stripper pants instead!

It’s like Ciampa can’t get enough violence and punishment, as if he’s all wound up in a frenzy and will fight his opponent’s clothing if the opponent himself is unavailable.  I thought this was a pretty provocative little spot — Ciampa vs. Garza’s pants.

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Over on the AEW show, Darby Allin impresses us with his athleticism, balancing on the ropes without using his hands.

Some cheater then attacks the dexterous young acrobat and shoves him off the ropes.   How utterly cruel and unfair (guaranteeing that I’ll be checking out AEW every Wednesday to see more of this nastiness!)

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Jericho again applies his patented finishing hold to force a submission and our helpless young hopeful is defeated.

What a bully Jericho has become — I’m digging him in his ruthless Ring General role.  Speaking of ruthless Ring Generals, lets get back to Ciampa vs. Garza on NXT…

 

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Ciampa plants Garza’s face into the mat and rolls him up for the pinfall (offering up a ratings-boosting glance at those snug white trunks.)

This was a fairly one-sided squash.  It was actually a short match — Ciampa came off as a total bad-ass as usual.  And Angel Garza was a delight — what a hot body.

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So who won the Wednesday war on 10/16/19?   I think I’m going to give it to NXT — Ciampa and Garza.  Yes, the wrist-binding on AEW was super kinky and provocative, but come on — Angel Garza in all white gear was spectacular!

Really, the winner of the Wednesday wars is us — the fans.  Because of this rivalry, both federations are going to have to really excite us and turn us on if they want our eyeballs focused on their studs each week.  Enjoy the suffering!