Wrestling Arsenal

Gallery 666 Boxer vs. Wrestler

	We continue our look at Tarzan, the Lord of the Jungle, with this comic book cover, featuring Tarzan grappling with a big jungle native. I like how their legs are entwined as they struggle in their loin-cloths.
	This comic features some bondage, as the bad guys whip ropes at Tarzan that twist around his arms and legs to hog-tie him. Who wouldn't want to buy this issue after seeing this scene on the cover??
I think Tarzan's been watching Pro Wrestling again. He picks up one giant red ape for a Body Slam, while the other apes grope him around the waist and bicep.
Now Tarzan is being molested by six muscular cave-men who grip and caress his exposed flesh. A sexy witch entices her men to punish the helpless hunk, looking vulnerable in his skimpy loin-cloth. Is this comic book, with an orgy featured on the front cover, really appropriate for children??
	When Mike Tyson visited Africa, he decided to stroll through the jungle in his jock strap. Soon he met Tarzan standing on a rock, challenging Tyson by flexing his muscles and acting fierce. Tarzan wants to redeem himself after his humiliating defeats in Gallery 391.
	After some heated trash-talk, which Tarzan could barely understand thanks to Tyson's lisp, they lock up in mortal combat. Every muscle is straining on their bodies as they try to determine who is the stronger man.
	CRACK!! Tyson uses his famous right cross, which has knocked many boxers out cold, to gain control. Tarzan goes down like a ton of bricks.
Unlike his early matches that lasted about 20 seconds, Tyson isn't finished with this cocky, long-haired bitch. He picks up the white stud with a handful of hair so he can punish him some more.
But Tarzan is a skilled grappler, and is used to fighting with big lions and apes and giant snakes. He grabs Tyson's jock strap and picks the big boxer off his feet for a slam.
	Their battle spills onto the beach, where both men strip off what little clothing they had on, and dive into the water.
	They struggle into the deep end, both men desperate for a breath of air. Tarzan is used to wrestling crocodiles deep under water, so he has the advantage here.
Tyson throws a solid punch into Tarzan's break-basket, knocking some valuable air out of him. Luckily for Tarzan, water slows down punches, or that gut-punch might have killed him.
	Tarzan is able to slap on a Sleeper Hold. He flexes his bicep against Tyson's neck to try to put him out and drown him. Clearly wrestlers have a huge advantage over boxers once the fight goes under water!
	Tyson knows he is in great danger if he can't break this hold and get some air soon. He feels himself falling asleep, but is able to struggle with all his strength and break free.
They quickly swim up and fill their lungs with air. Tyson is pissed off now because he was nearly drowned. He is thinking about biting off Tarzan's ear.
When boxers challenge wrestlers to a fight, the wrestlers usually have the advantage because they can apply holds, and this match is no exception. Tarzan slaps on a tight Full Nelson which seems to be getting him excited.
	Back on the beach, Tyson escapes the Full Nelson and responds with his famous left cross. CRACK!! Tarzan falls to the ground like so many of Tyson's earlier opponents.
	Like a wild animal, Tyson pounces on his stunned prey, sitting on him to pin him down. He begins to slam repeated fists into the helpless man's chest to weaken him.
Tyson stands over his dazed opponent in a victory pose, flexing his muscles while Tarzan tries to catch his breath. This is a very humiliating position for the Lord of the Jungle!
Tyson wants to teach this cocky white boy some respect. He grips Tarzan's hair and grinds on his face, which he did to many of his cell-mates in prison to show them who is boss.
With a foot on the back of his head, Tyson presses Tarzan's face in the dirt like a master discipling his slave. He is smothering Tarzan in the sand! This is revenge for when Tarzan tried to drown him in the lake.
	But Tarzan refuses to submit. He struggles to his feet, fighting dirty by gripping the big black dude by the cock. He is determined to prove that wrestlers can always defeat boxers.
	Gripping Tyson's head between his knees, Tarzan sets the boxer up for the dreaded Pile Driver! That's cool, I think Tarzan learned this one from watching Paul Orndorff in the Pro Wrestling ring!
After driving Tyson's head into the sand, Tarzan dives on top in the dominant position. Now it's his turn to grind himself on the other man's face to show him who is the Alpha Male here.

Poor Tyson is exhausted and beaten, unable to resist as the Lord of the Jungle sits directly on his face to degrade him even more.
Tyson pounds the beach as Tarzan pounds him. Tarzan shows him how it feels to be violated against your will, which is what landed Tyson in prison.
	Tarzan has defeated Tyson in every possible way, now unloading on his face as Tyson lies submissively on his back and willingly accepts the ultimate humiliation.