Wrestling Arsenal

Gallery 658 Indian Wrestling

This gallery is dedicated to Johnny Cougar -- not the pop singer from the 1980's who sang about "Pink Houses" and "Jack and Diane." This Johnny Cougar was a comic book hero in England in the 60's and 70's. He was a Native American pro wrestler who won his matches through honest effort and cleverness, not cheating!

Here we see Johnny defeating Battling Boris with a Boston Crab. Powerful Boris must submit to the Injun, slapping the mat and screaming "No! NO! Get him off for Pete's sake! I can't stand it!"
Next Johnny and his loyal manager, Bill MacLean, travelled under water so Johnny could wrestle Neptune. Neptune promises to surrender himself and his men if he loses.
The God of the Ocean is too much for poor Johnny to handle! He gives the Honest Injun a Face Punch, Full Nelson, and even the dreaded Boston Crab!
	The ref urges poor helpless Johnny to submit before being crippled, but the Seminole warrior is persistent. He grits his teeth and teaches the young readers to be daring and brave when faced with trouble. Never surrender!
	Sure enough, Johnny is able to twist free, then tossing his opponent into the ropes and stunning him with a Head-butt to the jaw. Johnny is the winner, celebrating his victory with a ridiculous Indian war-dance around the ring.
Here are a few frames of a shirtless young Johnny Cougar preparing to grapple with the evil Scorpion. I wonder how many British wrestling fans first fell in love with the physical contact and man to man action of Pro Wrestling from reading this comic book.
	Johnny's next opponent is a high-flying grappler covered from head to toe in Latex. He calls himself "Rubber-Man" because of his flexibility and speed. So I guess this progressive cartoon even taught the young readers about practicing safe sex!
Rubber-Man is too quick for poor Johnny. He bounces around the ring like a super-ball, jumping over the confused Injun and evading his grasp. He also talks trash the whole time, insulting and degrading the slow savage.

Johnny is able to apply a Boston Crab, one of his favorite finishing holds. But Rubber-Man is so flexible that the hold had no effect on him. What can poor Johnny do against a man who simply lays there smiling when placed in holds that would cripple most men??
Now the elastic man flips poor Johnny and pins him in an amazing Bridge position. Believe it or not, the lean young brawlers of today actually use this Bridge position to pin their opponents! Maybe they learned this move from reading Johnny Cougar comics.
Rubber-Man takes a seat on Johnny's face, punning him to the mat while the ref counts to three. Our poor hero has lost the first fall to the walking Condom, but this match is "Best of Three Falls".

	When Rubber-Man tries to bounce Johnny off the corner-buckles for a big Clothesline, the clever Indian surprises him with a stunning elbow to the chin.
	Rubber-Man falls to the mat in a daze and Johnny is declared the winner. (Wait a minute, that was only two falls, what about the third fall??! Oh well, at least our hero is the winner.)
When Johnny went to work as a Lumberjack, the loggers built a ring in their camp so they could watch him wrestle a huge brute named Hawkes. In the third frame, Hawkes says "I got me designs on that BACK of yours, Redskin!" so we learn that Hawkes is racist, uses poor grammer, and is into topping his opponents.
Even though Hawkes is a big brawny lumber-jack, he soon proves to be a pussy. Johnny is able to twist his arm and lock him in an interesting Surfboard position over his knees for the easy victory.
	Probably the hottest stud that Johnny ever wrestled was the champion, Tiger Lamont, a hottie who wears tiger-striped trunks in the ring. I'm sure plenty of young readers found their pulses racing as they watched Tiger and Johnny squaring off shirtless in the ring.
	The stud in the Tarzan speedo applies a Full Nelson, but Johnny flips him to the mat and performs a Headstand on his belly to win the first fall. The Champ screams "NO! NO! NO!" but is helpless in the noble savage's Body Press.
Johnny's loyal manager smiles as he wipes down the handsome Indian's sweaty body, while Johnny chugs some whiskey like a typical drunken Indian. They are ready for the second fall and the manager shoves Johnny toward his competition.
OOOOOGHH! Poor Johnny is greeted with a deadly Elbow Smash, similar to the one he used to defeat the Rubber-Man earlier. Why did his foolish manager push him across the ring like that!
	Next, the handsome Tiger bounces off the ropes and checks Johnny out of the ring! Poor Johnny is a good wrestler and an honest Injun, but how can he defeat a superior stud like Tiger Lamont!??
	Poor Johnny is stunned because his head smashed into a chair at ringside. He is unable to get back inside the ring, so he loses the match! (Again, we only saw two falls instead of three, but oh well, maybe the artist had run out of space in the comic book.) Tiger celebrates his victory, then shows his honesty and sportsmanship, like most handsome white champs, by shaking Johnny's hand and congratulating him on a good match. The young readers learn to be gracious winners and to smile sweetly at their opponents, just like good old Tiger Lamont.. I'm sure Johnny will take Tiger Lamont up on the offer for a re-match very soon.
We join Johnny's match against the Bear, already in progress. The Bear has Johnny trapped in a rib-crunching Bearhug.
By expelling the air from his lungs, clever Johnny Cougar is able to slip from the Bear's grasp. Let's see, we've seen him battle a Tiger, a Logger, a Roman God, and a man made of rubber, and now he is taking on a Bear. What gay sterotype could he possibly grapple next, a Biker? How about a Drag Queen?? Or an Interior Decorator??
	The Bear is huge and hairy, like most Bears. Johnny is able to toss him off his feet, but the Bear is saved by the bell. He enjoys his pot of honey while threatening to hurt poor Johnny for embarrassing him.
	Wow, this Bear is massive, almost unable to fit within his skimpy speedo! I wonder if the readers have noticed that Johnny's shirt is torn open in the front from his violent, rough grappling with this massive Bear.
	The Bear quickly stuns Johnny with a big Elbow, then splashes down to pin him to the mat. He growls like an angry beast as the ref awards him the first fall. I wonder how many young readers folded down the corner of this page, showing the muscular Bear crouched over the helpless hero, so they could quickly refer back to this scene later.
As Bill MacLean eagerly gives Johnny a sponge bath, the Bear claps and celebrates. Johnny bitches about the illegal tactics, but actually the Bear won that fall fair and square.
Johnny is determined to defeat this big, powerful Bear. He whips the hairy beast into the corner, then stuns him with his famous Elbow Smash. The Bear yells "HUNK!" when Johnny clobbers him in the face.

	Once again, Johhnny is victorious, as his fawning manager runs into the ring to praise and honor him. It must be the barely concealed homo-erotic under-currents that kept this comic book selling like hot-cakes.