Gallery 583
Most Wanted
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"Check us out,
America's Most Wanted, looking butch in our new duster jackets with our muscular
bodies and red speedos peeking out. Those shiny gold belts around our waists
tell everyone that we are the Champs, the best Tag Team in the NWA TNA."
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"Oh yeah,
we strip off our jackets and belts, and DAMN, I am looking buff tonite, pumped
up for this match. Wow, that thick coat of body oil really shows off
my muscles, you gotta love it!"
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"Here is
a nice close-up of my chest and body, running with oil and sweat for you
fans of the wet look. Would you like to climb in the ring and rassle
with me some time??"
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"We lean on the ropes as they announce our competition. You
can see that both James and I are ready for a fight, eager to get it on with
these two meatballs who we are scheduled to beat up tonite."
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"Here
come our opponents, Jeff Jarrett in his cute little red booties, and the
pretty-boy Matt Striker, looking cocky in a fancy velvet robe with gold trim.
Who does this punk think he is tonite, Gorgeous George??"
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"Damn this dude thinks he is hot stuff in his fancy robe! I
can't stand cocky pretty-boys like this, always so popular and perfect looking!
I can't wait to get him in some wrestling holds so I can really punish
him!"
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"The sonuvabitch peels off his robe like he is revealing a
sculpture or something! It figures the pretty boy would wear shiny
white gear like he is Tito Santana or something. I really want to make
him suffer now!"
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"The ref
really needs to check this dirty bastard for a foreign object in those whitie-tighties!
I think he stuffed a weapon in there and he plans to use it on me or
my partner!"
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"Although
I gotta admit, my partner "Cowboy" James Storm also can pack a pair of wrestling
trunks. I can promise you he isn't concealing any illegal weapons in
that speedo other than what he was born with!!"
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"Now check out this pretty boy, dancing around from side to
side in his whitie-tighties, like he is a stripper or something. I
sure wish they'd ring the bell so I could get my hands on this arrogant FUCK!!"
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"My partner is
just as eager to lock up and punish that show-off, so he convinces me to
step out of the ring. OK, come on James, break that cocky show-pony!"
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"Oh damn,
powerful Striker caught my pal James in his punishing Headlock. I've
heard that being in Striker's Headlock is like having your head trapped in
a vice, like one of the Three Stooges or something!"
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"Oh no, James is passing out
in there! Come on, Striker, you are hurting him! Loosen up that
squeeze before you crack his skull!"
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"Damn,
this hunk has some big muscles. With a body like that, no wonder he
struts around acting cocky all day! And he knows how to use that strength
to punish other men. Come on, James, get out before he puts you out!"
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"Luckily Jarrett convinces Striker to loosen up the hold, so
Jarrett will have something left to punish. Striker could have crushed
his head, but he relaxes his muscles so my partner can slip out!"
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"Striker
slides out of the ring to take a break. He and Jarrett are over there
discussing how they plan to hurt poor James next. I hate these sadistic
studs, but there is nothing I can do until James tags me in."
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"And why does Striker
leave that annoying trail of hair in the center of his abs, pointing the
way down toward his waist-band? Does he think this is sexy or something??"
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"I convince James to tag
out and take a break, so I can have my chance at punishing these show-offs.
Striker knows I hate him and can't wait to hurt him, so he tags in
Jarrett."
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"Jarrett is able to
secure a Headlock on me, trying to crank my neck out of joint. Luckily
he isn't as strong as his buff partner, so I am able to press him off and
break the hold."
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"Now I
lift the cocky blond into my patented Suplex position, and hold him upside-down
for about 3 minutes while all the blood rushes to his head!"
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"Several more
minutes pass as Jarrett begins begging me to drop him. This is revenge
for the rough treatment my boy James received. James loves when I use
this move on our competition!"
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"My partner watches me from our corner,
one boot planted on the bottom rope as he recovers from that deadly Headlock.
He encourages me to hold Jarrett up until he passes out, but I have
mercy on the champ and slam him hard onto his lower back. CRUNCH!"
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"Now I
twist Jarrett's shoulder out of the socket, forcing him to walk around in
circles groaning in pain. Damn I get off on humiliating dudes who think
they are better than me! I think I'll force him to call me Daddy."
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"The pretty-boy
in white is getting worried about his little partner. He screams at
Jeff to break free and tag him. Don't worry, Striker, I got plenty
more where this came from, you will get your ass-kicking too."
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"James tells
me he is ready to enter the ring again, so I tag him in. Jarrett also
tags in Striker. Watch out for his damn Headlock this time, he is going
to kill you with that hold!"
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"Sure
enough, Striker clamps on another skull-crushing Headlock, trying to pop
my partner's head like a grape. Come on James, do something! Grab
his nuts and twist them or something!"
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"My partner struggles to escape, and the bastard
throws him violently to the floor! What's wrong with you Striker, don't
be so rough. We're supposed to be wrestling here!"
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"Now what are
these clowns up to? Jarrett seems to be folding back the mat at ringside.
Did he lose his keys under there or something?"
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"Oh my GOD!!
Jarrett slammed poor James on the bare floor! I can't believe they
peeled back the mat just to spike my boy on the bare floor!"
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"Holy Shit! Jarrett
will stop at nothing to destroy poor James! He grabbed a crutch from
a fan and drove it into my partner's rib cage! This is completely out
of control, I need to help my partner!"
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"What the hell
is wrong with you crazy bastards?! Can't you see he is hurt! When
we agreed to give you a match, we didn't agree to this violent bullshit!!"
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"Don't worry James,
I'm here for you. I won't let them punish you any more. But you
gotta get up and get in the ring. James, can you hear be buddy?"
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"I always knew
Jarrett was a mean hombre, but I didn't know he was this sadistic! He
is laughing about what he did to poor James, getting off on my partner's
agony! This is not funny, dude!! God, I want to hurt that cocky
blond stud!"
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"The
ref orders me back to my corner, but my partner is finally able to peel himself
up and crawl back in the ring. Suck it up, James, don't let them do
this to you! You gotta fight back and tag me in!"
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"This
is getting sickening! Striker tags in and starts wailing on my helpless
partner. Come on, he can't even defend himself in there. Give
me a break, guys, you are hurting him!"
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"Of course Jarrett has no mercy. The sick bastard is
rubbing his crotch on the middle rope, getting horny from the brutal violence
as he encourages his partner to keep beating the shit out of my boy James."
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"Wow, I
can't believe this pretty-boy is taunting me! He is standing over my
stunned partner and laughing about the injury he has inflicted! Get
over here James, you gotta tag me so I can destroy this arrogant sonuvabitch!"
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"Hey Harris, how should I
punish your wimpy partner next? Should I put him in my Headlock again,
or do you think he is ready for another trip out to the floor?"
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"You sick bastard! I knew
Jarrett gets off on hurting guys, but I didn't know you were just as twisted!
You better make sure I don't get to tag in, or I am going to hurt you!"
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"Leaving my partner
twitching on the mat like a fish out of water, Striker scales the ropes to
show off his hard body to the fans, flexing his six-pack abs. He can't
go 5 minutes without begging the fans to worship his hot physique!"
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"Now
it's back to the rough stuff, as Striker takes a seat on my partner's back
and yanks his head around by the hair. Hey ref, that's illegal! Get
that dirty bastard off of him!"
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"Now he converts it to
a Chinlock as my poor partner grips his forehead in suffering. Hang
in there buddy, you gotta reach over and tag me! Take it easy on him
Striker, or I am gonna whip your ass when I get in there!"
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"The stud in white continues
to taunt me, giving me dirty looks as my partner grows weaker and weaker
in his grasp. He is trying to draw me into the ring to distract the
ref!"
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"Ouch, was
it really necessary to drive a knee into his ribs? They are killing
him in there, preventing him from making the tag."
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"Jarrett is getting anxious to join in on
this sadistic attack. He begs his partner to tag him, desperate to
inflict some more punishment on my helpless partner."
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"I can hardly
stand to watch this nasty bullshit! They braced my partner's neck on
the middle rope so Jarrett could sit on his head and crush his throat. This
is too much, I gotta get in there and rescue my boy!"
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"What the hell
is wrong with you brutes?!? We signed up to wrestle, but you keep using
dirty tactics, trying to hurt somebody. This is a wrestling ring, not
a back alley!"
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"Hey
ref, will you get that cheater out of the ring so I can get back to beating
up his wimpy partner?? I guess I'm going to lay on the ropes and take
a break until these pussies are ready to fight some more."
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"I know these
cheaters are dirty and tough, and they have no mercy. But you gotta
get over and tag me in. They are humiliating us in here! Be strong
dude, tag me in so I can make them pay for their cocky attitudes!"
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"The match resumes, and
Jarrett delivers a nasty boot to my partner's ribs. Luckily he kicked James
toward our corner, almost within my reach!"
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"At last James dives over
and slaps my hand! Great job partner, now watch me open a can of whoop-ass
on these cheating dicks!"
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"Ready or not, here I
come! Who wants to suffer first?? Striker, I've been itching
to punch you in the face all day long!"
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"I give
Striker a nice forearm to the temple, jarring his brains and knocking him
on his ass. That is payback for the dirty hair-pulling you used on my partner!"
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"I follow up with a nice
Power-Slam, driving the air out of the pretty-boy's body to stun him. You
aren't acting cocky now, boy."
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"James jumps in the ring
to take some revenge on the bullies who tortured him all match. He
hoists Striker on his shoulders and slams him onto the back of his neck."
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"I howl in rage like a
wounded animal. I am ready to take on the world. Who should I
punish next?"
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"I lift Striker up on
my shoulders and James dives off the top rope to crack his head on the mat.
We love knocking our opponents out cold with this move!"
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"I roll Jarrett up ass-to-ass, riding him in a humiliating
split-eagle position. The ref counts to three and we are the winners!"
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"My poor partner is exhausted
and stunned, but at least we were able to win the match. Don't worry
buddy, I am here to protect you."
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"Once again, the belts
are where they belong, on our waists. James walks proudly back to the
dressing room, already peeling off his tight red speedo."
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"Hey wait a minute, James,
you aren't supposed to pull the trunks off until we are back in the dressing
room!"
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"Our fans go wild as we
strut around ringside holding our shiny gold belts and celebrating our victory
over a pair of very tough wrestlers."
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"Both James and I are
clearly very excited about this win. We can't wait to get back to our
dressing room to start our own private celebration!"
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"Back in out
locker room, covered in sweat from both our bodies and our opponents', I
tell my partner how much he means to me and how crazy I get when he is being
punished in the ring. He tells me how proud he is to have me as a partner
and hopes we can stay partners forever."
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"Meanwhile, back in the
ring, the two pretty-boys are still trying to figure out what went wrong.
Striker is bitching about the ringing in his ears caused by our patented
Double-Team move."
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"Our loyal fans
remind these sadistic villains that they are the losers. These arrogant
cheaters seemed surprised that nobody likes them!"
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"They raise their arms
in victory as if they were the winners. Our fans know who the real
champions are, and reward the pretty-boys with a chorus of boos. Damn,
I'd love a re-match with these two dirty hunks!"
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