Gallery 841
Lance Von Erich vs. Rick Rude

When they started running out of Von Erich boys, Fritz hired this tan, blond stud in the yellow trunks as their "long lost cousin" Lance Von Erich.  

Next to the other Von Erichs, he sticks out like a turd in a punch bowl.

Lance is so pretty, tan and blond, he could be a male model!  Are you sure he is the long lost son of Waldo Von Erich, below?  

"Waldo Von Erich, when it comes to 25 year old Lance, you are NOT the father!"

Lance Von Erich
Waldo Von Erich
Today Lance will wrestle another potential model:  "Ravishing" Rick Rude.  Here is Rude relaxing in a hammock, but with that ripped body, he clearly doesn't lay around relaxing too often.

Which version of Rick Rude do you prefer?  When he still allowed some manly hair to grow on his chest, or when he went perfectly smooth and streamlined?

Some artist enjoys Rude's hard body so much, he created a sweet drawing of that world famous abdomen.  Wow, great work!

Another Rude lover drew this charicature that depicts Rude's narrow hips and powerful upper body.  This hunk's amazing physique serves as an inspiration for artists and wrestling fans alike!

Back stage, Lance takes a few moments to rub oil on his tan skin and stretch out his groin.  He even looks good doing that!

Pretty Boy Lance climbs in the ring in a jobber-style jacket, and like most Von Erichs, spends a few moments signing autographs for the fans.

Across the ring, shirtless Rick Rude -- or "Rick Rood" as the Texans mis-spell it -- proudly flexes his rock hard body.

Lance is still busy writing autographs.  Exactly how much is a "Lance Von Erich" autograph worth now on E-bay?  Is the shipping more than the autograph itself?
Wow, Rude was so damn ripped.  What a show-off, I love it.  He continutes to display what made him famous -- those breath-taking striations and freaky lean muscular definition.

The camera man is impressed as well, as he zooms in on that hard muscle definition from the back.  Rude grew larger later in his career, but this may be his most chiseled.
Handsome Lance seems to enjoy staring at Rude's perfect body.  He gives the Ravishing One a flirtatious smile across the ring as he prepares to wrestle against that hard body.

The female fans howl like cats in heat as Von Erich peels off his jobber jacket.  Compared to most opponents, this pretty-boy would have the better body (but not against Rude!)

Lance was known as just a "decent" and slow-moving wrestler who Fritz must have hired based on his good looks. Will his "Von Erich" name be enough to defeat the Ravishing One?

Wow, this kid is a looker.  It's like the most popular Frat Boy on campus decided to become a pro wrestler.  He is obviously way too handsome to be related to the horse-faced Von Erichs, but back in the 1980's, the Texans all fell for it and went Ga-Ga over Lance.

Lance wrestles barefoot so he'll look more like a high-flying Von Erich boy.  He grips Rude's huge upper arm and takes the body builder down to the mat to suffer for a while.

Even when he's the one in trouble, Rude uses his hard body to steal the spotlight.  He has a way of twisting around and flexing that really looks great!  Nice abs, dude!
Most wrestlers look better in the speedo-style trunks, but there is something about Rude's long tights and extra-tall boots that really works for him.  He looks like a super-hero with that ridiculous upper body bursting out of his tights.

Lance continues to dominate as Rude continues to flex and pose.  That fan in the white "USA" shirt who always sat in the front row is enthralled by Lance's looks.

Lance applies a hammer lock as Rude forces him into the corner.  Look how Rude skillfully exposes his well-oiled torso, offering the fans an eye-ful of perfect bod.

Lance doesn't release that Hammer Lock quickly enough so Rude jams an elbow into his cute face to break the hold.  CRACK!!

Lance is nearly decapitated by a huge elbow from Rude.  The Texans all scream in rage as one of their "Von Erichs" is getting picked apart.

Lance again secures the Arm Bar (Is that his only wrestling hold?).  Rude rolls around selling the agony and flexing.

"OH GOD!  I'm hurting!  (Meanwhile check out my amazing 8-pack abs.)"

Lance drops a leg across Rude's trapped arm.  Rude performs an Ab Crunch to again show off his chiseled physique.  Rude is an artist!
Wow, Fritz was really trying to put Lance over as a Von Erich who can dominate in the ring like his unbeatable "cousins".  Check out Rude obediently kneeling before the better man.

The USA guy in the front row is sure sold on Lance's awesomeness.

Cowardly Rick Rude, unable to escape Lance's incredible Arm Lock, is forced to grab the ropes.  The ref orders Lance to release the hold before he hurts poor, helpless Rude.

Rude, totally out-matched by the Von Erich stud, is forced to slip out of the ring for a rest break.  This delay is perfectly fine with the fans at ringside who now get a better look at that hard body.

Cocky Lance stands over Rude on the middle rope, posing in domination.  Wow, he wouldn't be acting so cocky if his name was still "Ricky Vaughn" or whatever instead of "Lance Von Erich."

Like a typical Von Erich, Lance struts around like he owns the ring.  Don't get too cocky kid, Fritz actually owns the ring.

Where did Fritz Von Erich find this beautiful tan hunk in order to adopt him as a "nephew"?? Did Fritz see him on the cover of a gay porn magazine?  Or maybe at a male dance revue?  

The USA belly-shirt guy knows what he likes, cheering proudly for the Von Erich super-star.  Is he wearing white wrestling trunks, or are those shorts?

Rude enters the ring and promptly slaps on a very nice Bearhug.  Whoa, look at Rude's chiseled mid-section as he tightens the pressure like a Boa Constrictor.  I'd trade places with either wrestler at this point.
The two men take a few moments to cuddle.  Rude cinches on the pressure as Lance wraps his arms around the stronger man's neck.

Mr. USA looks eager to jump in the ring and rescue poor Lance from this crushing embrace.

The camera zooms in on Lance's expressions of agony.  Clearly he isn't a true "Von Erich" because he knows how to job for another wrestler, which the Von Erichs almost never did.

The Bearhug continues for several minutes as the studs grind against each other. Meanwhile the ratings for World Class Championship Wrestling are going through the roof.

Rick Rude loved to apply the Bearhug and his fans loved to watch it.  You can check out a whole series of Rude's famous hugs in Gallery 194.

After squeezing all the air out of his barefoot opponent, Rude takes him down for a pin attempt.  Lance kicks out.  I wish Fritz would adopt me and put me in the ring with Rick Rude!

To show us more suffering by pretty-boy Lance, Rude slaps on the Abdominal Stretch.  Very nice!  This hold really lets you see some agony on display.

The viewers enjoy a super close-up of the golden boy in pain, his flowing mane of hair spilling down onto his shoulders as he cringes in frustration.

Damn, we can almost see up into his brains as the camera zooms in closer!

Rude is using his hard body to stretch and bend Lance's weaker body, like stretching a piece of bubble-gum around a rock.  Lance provides some sublime expressions of pain.

The Ab Stretch goes on for several wonderful minutes as Rude flexes every muscle in his body, trying to rip Lance Von Erich in two pieces.

Finally an exhausted Lance escapes the torture.  He practically falls into Rude's embrace as Rude again locks on the Bearhug.  How many times are these studs going to embrace??
Poor Lance is almost out cold as he collapses to the mat.  In a very suggestive pose, hard-body Rick Rude lays on top of his his victim chest to chest.  (Wouldn't you do that too if you were wrestling Lance Von Erich??)

Damn, this almost looks like that famous beach scene in "From Here to Eternity" where Burt Lancaster makes out with some chick as the waves crash over them.

This is the scene I'm talking about.  Watch it on YouTube and I think you'll agree it's almost as hot as Lance and Rude in the wrestling ring.

Lance presses against the stronger man's body, either struggling to escape or trying to get more friction on his chest.

These two should get a room!  But then we wouldn't be able to watch.  OK, they should just stay in the ring and keep doing what they're doing!

"Ravishing" can mean either "extremely beautiful; attractive" or "to rape; violate."

Poor Lance is unable to rise from the mat after Rude is done ravishing him.

Rude attempsv a very arrogant pin (another of his trademark moves).  Why must Rude flex every hard muscle in his upper body just to pin the opponent?  Von Erich again kicks out.
Lance eventually struggles to his feet and the two wrestlers lock up against the ring ropes.  Suddenly they spill out over the ropes and crash down to the floor like a train wreck!

Before the ref can count them out, Lance scrambles to get back inside the ring.  Rude grabs the waistband of his black speedo to keep him out of the ring.

Lance must choose between scrambling back in the ring to win the match, or being exposed on national TV as Rude pulls down on his trunks.

But Lance finally slips free and slides into the ring just as the ref counts out Rick Rude.  Lance Von Erich is the winner!  He raises an arm in victory.

Wow, Mr. USA is overjoyed that his hero has defeated Rick Rude.  He jumps to his feet and proudly displays his love for all things Von Erich.
Fritz really wanted his "nephew" to be a big star and carry on the Von Erich dynasty just like his sons.  Even Rick Rude had to job for this pretty-boy, but at least the Ravishing One lost by count-out and not a humiliating pin or submission.

As his popularity grew, Lance asked Fritz for a big raise. (If he was a true Von Erich, he wanted Von Erich bankroll.)  Fritz was outraged, and he fired and disowned his "nephew", exposing this imposter in a famous interview.

Texans are a bit slow, but even they figured out that Fritz had bamboozled them by selling them this fake "Von Erich", so many fans lost interest and another great wrestling federation bit the dust.

Way to go, Lance.

Click the links below to watch both parts of this hot match on YouTube:
Part 1:
Part 2: